


Take my youth, make it yours

by jungkookiebaby



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Tobias Snape, Angst, Betrayal, Bottom Harry Potter, Childhood Friends, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, De-Aged Severus Snape, Eventual Smut, First War with Voldemort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealous Severus Snape, M/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Minor Character Death, Murder, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Harry Potter, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Behavior, Protective Harry Potter, Protective Severus Snape, Slytherin Harry Potter, Top Severus Snape, Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:15:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29576685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungkookiebaby/pseuds/jungkookiebaby
Summary: Harry Potter meets a boy with bruises like his own. They strike up a quick friendship and become rather close.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(A story about Harry and Severus. Two boys who don't really know what love is, but would like to learn.)
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 125
Kudos: 256





	1. The beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❗TW❗: Implied child abuse, if you want more detail go to the end note please!!
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> I've always wanted a fic about Severus and Harry being childhood friends to lovers, so when I couldn't find it, I decided to write it:)  
> I hope you enjoy the first chapter! The rest of the chapters are going to be around 3-4k words each.

* * *

They met as children, eleven and ten.

~

Harry Potter had always been a curious boy. Always outside in the forest beyond the backyard. There was a creek there, further in, and he would lie beside it, in the shade of the trees. Sometimes he'd fall asleep, and when he woke up, he'd see the stars in the sky. 

Hundreds upon hundreds, glinting just for him.

He was lonely. All the time. He was an orphan with an aunt and uncle who hated him. His cousin was a pig nosed boy, with a pot belly just like his father. A very mean child as well.

There were two good things about living with the Dursley's. One of them was that he received Dudley's hand-me-downs like clockwork monthly. At the end of every month Dudley would have outgrown his wardrobe and he would receive them instead. The recent clothes hung off his body like burlap sacks, but the ones from three years back fit like a glove.

The other good thing was that they didn't care about him, so what he did during the day didn't matter a thing to them.

He could be dead in a ditch somewhere and the only way they'd notice was if they didn't receive their allotted monthly check for taking him in.

Harry stayed out of the house as much as possible, packing himself a meal in the morning and returning late in the evening, after they had finished dinner. He was lucky on the days when he didn't even catch a glimpse of them. But on the days he wasn't… well he had very good hearing so he avoided them quite well now.

There was a park in the neighborhood he lived in, but he could only ever go very early in the morning, before Dudley woke up and monopolized the place.

Harry liked to swing on the swings and make castles in the sand pit. He went most days right before heading to the forest.

It was always too early for anyone to be out and about, other than the paper boys that is.

So he was extremely surprised when one morning he was sitting on the swing preparing to go up very high, and he heard a small cough from behind him.

His heart practically leaped out of his chest and he let out a squeaky yelp. He jumped off the swing and sprinted a few feet away. When he deemed he was far enough from whatever had coughed behind him he abruptly stopped and turned back in the direction of the swings.

Harry's eyes widened at the sight of a boy, around his age. 

The boy had long black hair that made him look a bit like a girl.

He was as pale as the vampire Harry had seen on the telly and he was so small. Almost as small as Harry himself.

He wore mismatched clothing that were much too big, almost like he had taken them from a grown man. 

Harry supposed by the look of the deep purple bruise on the boys cheek, that maybe he had.

"H-hullo," he called out to the child, who had just been standing there, observing him as he had the other.

Harry walked a bit closer until he was just a meter away from the boy, still far enough to run away if he needed too. From this close he could see that the boy's face was quite gaunt and his eyes were deep pits of a black so dark that Harry’s breath caught in his throat. 

"Hi," the other whispered.

"What's your name?"

The boy said something very quietly, but Harry couldn't hear him, "I'm sorry, but could you repeat that, I didn't hear you," Harry said, his head tilting just a bit.

"Severus," the boy repeated.

Harry smiled, "I'm Harry, I've never seen you before, are you new here?"

The boy snickered raspily, and it was a mean sound. Harry furrowed his brows and felt a bit defensive. Why was he laughing at him? He had only asked a question.

"I live on Spinner's End. Of course you haven't seen me, prissy boy," Severus sneered at him. 

Harry had to swallow down a gasp… Spinner's End was the neighborhood two streets down. It was a place Auntie Petunia called many bad names, and the people in it were said to be very bad as well. 

Harry had heard stories of witches and evil people that lived there who ate skinny little boys for dinner. 

Well, that's what Dudley said anyway, and who's to know if anything that comes out of his mouth isn't utter horseshit. 

Plus this boy looked pretty skinny himself and he looked very uneaten.

"Well… I don't care, you seem just fine to me," Harry said, sticking his chin up and crossing his arms, annoyed that the other boy had called him prissy. He didn't even know what that meant.

Severus stared at him- scrutinizing him.

Harry fidgeted eventually, uncomfortable at the other's unending gaze.

Finally he uncrossed his arms, "Do you wanna play a game with me?" he asked him.

Severus looked shocked all of a sudden, but judging by the looks of him he didn't play with others often. Harry didn't either so he felt a bit of kinship with the other already. 

"What kind of game," he asked, suspicious.

"I suppose we could play hide and seek."

"What's that." Harry giggled until he realized the boy just kept on looking at him, a serious expression on his face.

"Oh. You really don't know, alright well, it's a game where one person covers their eyes and counts and the other hides. Then when the person is done counting they have to go find the other. If they don't find them and give up, they lose. If they find them, they win. Do you understand?"

Severus nodded and they began. He insisted on Harry being a seeker first, but Harry didn't mind. 

He'd never actually played before, just knew the basics from when he had spied on Dudley and his friends.

He found Severus quickly, crouched behind a tree.

Severus had been properly shocked for some reason, muttering something about a consealmeant spel???? What on Earth was that?

"Okay, now it's your turn to find me Severus," and he sped off before the other could say a word.

~

He and Severus played like that for weeks, meeting up early in the morning and playing until Harry would hear Dudley laughing with his friends from afar. 

~

Severus was a bit odd. Harry couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew something was different about his friend, and it didn't have anything to do with Spinner's End. Or… maybe it did, but probably not.

For example, some days Harry would show up after Severus and he'd see the boy playing with some rocks. Harry could have sworn he'd seen them move on their own and change color, but he just chalked it up to some new toy he hadn't heard about. 

Other times were when Severus would show up with a bruise, and by the time he had to go home, it would be gone… Harry had had lots of bruises but they always took a few days to disappear.

But odd things happened to Harry sometimes too, so he supposed it was normal.

~

Harry laid in the grass by the creek, his head beside Severus's. 

"Harry.” 

"Hm."

"I want to show you something," he said quietly.

Harry peered over at him curiously as Severus sat up and crossed his legs.

He picked up a twig from beside him and placed it before him. Harry sat up too, wondering what he was doing.

Then, Severus held his hand above the twig and his body went rigid in focus.

Harry was about to ask what he was doing when the stick began to wiggle on the ground.

His jaw dropped and his eyes went wide as he watched the twig rise slowly from the ground and into Severus's waiting hand. 

Severus took in a deep breath when the twig fell back down and his body slumped forward, exhausted from what he had done.

Harry's mouth was wide open and he stared at Severus in absolute shock.

Severus stared down at the ground, his shoulders tensing up as he waited for Harry too do… something.

"How'd you do that?" Harry asked, awe overpowering the shock. 

Severus looked up at him, and the look on his face was almost afraid as he replied, very simply, "I have magic."

Harry's brows furrowed and he was about to call Severus out on his big fat lie, but realized he couldn't, because Severus looked so so afraid, and he _had_ just shown him proof. 

It must have taken him a lot of courage and trust in Harry to show him that.

“Magic?”

Severus nodded his head slowly.

“That’s really cool Severus!” Harry grinned getting over his confusion and suspicions rather quickly.

Severus still looked hesitant, and Harry couldn’t have his closest friend insecure with him, so he reached out and held one of Severus’s hands in both of his own. 

He rubbed his thumb on the back of Severus’s cold hand, warming it with his own.

Severus looked down at their hands in what looked like catatonic shock. He raised his head and met Harry’s gentle gaze and Harry saw something in Severus’s eyes shift. A wall he hadn’t realized had been there between them had crumbled down. 

Severus held on to his hand tightly, and they sat in silence for awhile. 

~

The day Harry found out he had magic was the day of his eleventh birthday. He had celebrated it alone with Severus next to their creek, although Severus didn’t know that.

Harry didn’t mention his birthday to the other, not wanting to make his friend feel obligated to get him anything. He didn’t know Severus’ home life very well, but he knew enough that his pa wouldn’t give him pocket money to spend on a friend.

He and Severus were sitting in the shade of their tree when Harry heard a low swishing sound. 

He furrowed his brows and looked up, his eyes widening when he saw an owl flying towards him. The owl landed in front of him and cooed, dropped a thick envelope before him before stretching its wings wide and taking off again. Harry stared after it until it was gone, his lips parted in shock. 

He turned to Severus expecting him to have a similar expression, but instead he was looking in shock at him! Did he not just see the owl delivering the mail? Wasn’t that more confusing than whatever was going on with Harry’s expression?

“Harry,” Severus whispered.

“Did you see the owl too, Severus?”

Severus startled and his face took on an annoyed expression.

“Harry, you are an utter fool.”

“Me?! I haven’t even done anything Sev,” he pouted back at him.

Severus rolled his eyes and reached out to the envelope, picking it up and holding it in his hands reverently.

“Harry, this letter is from Hogwarts. The school for magical boys and girls.”

“Oh. Do you reckon the owl got us mixed up?”

Severus looked at him with a long suffering expression, but Harry just felt more confused.

“What is it Severus?”

“Honestly, you are so oblivious sometimes. _You’re_ a wizard Harry. Magic doesn’t make mistakes,” Severus stated in a serious tone.

Harry wrinkled his nose in confusion.

“But Sev, I can’t do any magic.”

“Has anything odd ever happened to you? Stuff that you’ve never seen happen to anyone else?”

Harry fell into deep thought for a few moments. Was there anything that he’d done that was weird?? Oh wait!

“Well there was this one time I was running from Dudley and his friends and I tripped. They were about to be right on me and I closed my eyes tight, and when I opened them again, I was on the roof of a house!” 

“And you honestly didn’t think anything was off about that?” Severus stared at Harry incredulously. 

“Well no, it didn’t seem that weird in the moment, I was just happy to get away, and I had pretty much forgotten about it by the next day.”

Severus pursed his lips, and Harry giggled, it looked like he had tasted a lemon.

~

Over the next month, Severus taught Harry everything he knew about the magical world. It was, admittedly, a small amount of knowledge but Severus promised him they would learn a lot more once they began attending Hogwarts.

He learned about magical animals and plants, a few simple spells that he would be able to do when he got his very own wand, magical fashion, words they used that were different to “muggle” words, and things like that. 

He asked Severus one day how he knew so much and he became very quiet. 

“My mum,” and that was that. 

Harry didn’t ask about Severus’s life outside of their meetings, and Severus didn’t ask about his.

They both saw the bruises on the other at times, and knew when to tease a bit less that day, when to comfort more than roughhouse. 

Sometimes Severus would show up in a horrible mood, but it always ended with Harry cradling him in his arms and running his fingers through Severus’ hair gently. Pretending he didn’t feel the tears on his neck. 

When Harry would come to their spot, quiet and sullen, Severus would be able to coax a laugh out of him, holding his hand when needed. 

They cared deeply for each other, birds of a feather and all that. 

~

**Severus:**

Severus cupped his hand over his mouth tightly to muffle his crying. 

He lay on his lumpy mattress in his tiny closet of a room. Sparse with only a two drawer dresser and a small chest, holding all his worldly possessions. 

A yell from downstairs followed by the shattering of glass against a wall made him flinch violently. 

He curled his free arm around his waist, trying to comfort himself. 

He tried to think of something good, anything to bring him away from this hellhole. 

His mind wandered to forest green eyes, bright with laughter. He thought about soft, warm hands holding his own. Small fingers running through his hair, rubbing his scalp gently. 

He thought about a soft voice in his ear, talking about anything and everything. Telling him a story about a little Finch and a Crow. 

Another crash, and then suddenly, all was silent. No more crying from his mother and no more shouting from his father. 

Footsteps began to step heavily up the stairs.

Severus thought of green eyes. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Severus have bruises at times, and at the end of the chapter, starting from the bold "Severus", it's implied that his father is hurting his mother and severus is in his room crying.  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> So how was it?? I've already written out half of the fic, and depending on certain things it could be a 30k fic, or it could be a 50k fic, I haven't decided yet!  
> Bye for now:D


	2. The death of a father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❗TW❗: please read end note for further details about implied child abuse and also murder!

* * *

Harry found out one day, just how bad it really was, purely by accident. 

Severus had shown up, and everything had gone normally up to a point. They ate some food from Harry's bag (he packed more now for Severus), and they chatted and played card games from an old deck Severus had started bringing with him one day. 

They had fallen asleep, warm from the sun and stomachs full from the snacks, when Harry had been woken from his doze by whimpers, and soft whines of… pain?

He opened his eyes and looked around sleepily. He heard another whimper from beside him and jolted fully awake when he realized it was his Severus making those noises. He was about to reach out and shake him awake when the other boy began to mumble. 

Harry strained his ears, trying to make out what he was saying.

"P-please don't, don't hurt mummy, please," Severus murmured brokenly.

Harry's heart twisted in his chest and his mouth pulled down into a deep frown. 

Some serious stuff must be going on at Severus's house if he was so deep in sleep that he said things he never would awake.

Harry felt uncomfortable overhearing things so personal without consent so he nudged Severus awake.

The boy's body shivered and his eyes cracked open. 

"What is it Harry," he whispered hoarsely.

Harry reached out and tucked a loose strand of Sev' s hair behind his ear, cupping the shell for just a moment.

"You were talking in your sleep, are you sleeping okay at night Severus?"

Severus froze from where'd he'd been rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Harry watched as the other boy forcefully relaxed his body again and took on an act of faux nonchalance. 

"Of course. It must have been something I ate." 

Harry didn't call him out on his faulty logic that made no sense. 

He knew what it was like to keep secrets to yourself. Ones that were too dark for the light of day. 

"Okay Sev, but I'm always here if you need me alright?" 

Severus looked as if he was going to bite out cruel words, but seemed to think better of it, nodding instead.

Harry grinned at his friend and moved closer to him.

He held one arm over Severus's waist, letting it hover, looking up at him in question. Severus nodded slightly and Harry let his arm curl around the other's body pulling the rest of him closer to the other boy. Harry laid his head on Severus's chest and listened to his even heartbeat in his ear.

They did this sometimes. Both boys were touch starved but only Harry was willing to admit he was in need of some skinship. So he always initiated it whether he needed it or not.

Severus liked to think of himself as mature beyond his years, but really, he was a little boy, just like Harry, and if Harry knew anything about anything, he knew that he needed to cuddle sometimes. 

Harry shifted a bit and was acutely aware at the noise of discomfort from the boy beside him.

He looked down slowly, trying not to be noticed, nudging Severus's oversized shirt up just a tiny bit. 

He couldn't hold in his sharp gasp when just the small sliver of skin shown was mottled a dark purple. He pulled Severus's shirt up to his belly button before the boy could protest, and his heart sunk in his chest at the array of bruises covering Severus's pale skin.

Suddenly Harry felt a hard shove push him away and Severus was on top of him, straddling his waist and clamping one hand on his neck.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing," Severus's voice was almost a whisper, sharp as a knife. Harry was afraid of his friend for a split second before he looked into his eyes. He saw the look of betrayal there, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

At the sight of Severus's watery eyes Harry burst out crying.

"'M sorry Sev, 'm so sorry, I- I was wrong to do that to you, I shouldn't have done that, 'm s-sorry," Harry felt Severus's grip on his neck tighten just a fraction before falling limp.

Severus looked defeated, and for just a moment Harry saw a scared little boy, not Severus, so sure of everything, confident in all he did. Before the glimpse could disappear completely, a still sobbing Harry tugged on Severus, draping the older boy over himself, holding him tight to his body. 

Harry felt Severus shudder on top of him and the boy pushed closer to Harry's skin, almost like he was trying to crawl inside of him, too tired to pilot his own body. 

~

They laid there for a while, Severus periodically shaking on top of him, and Harry's sobs petered out into soft sniffles here and there.

He stroked Severus's back with one hand, the other holding the back of his head to the dip of his neck.

Severus sniffled hard and pulled back, away from Harry. He stood himself up and sat down beside him in the soft grass. He leaned his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his palms.

Harry sat up too, waited for him to speak, knowing it might take a while before he was ready. Maybe never. 

But this time, Severus surprised him.

"It's never been this bad before," he said in a hushed tone. Harry didn't say anything, knowing Severus wouldn't want the reminder that he was telling this to someone.

"Usually he just drinks and gets angry for a while, throws some stuff around. He rarely hurts mum. But mum has some type o-of sixth sense I suppose, of when those times will happen. She always sends me up to my room before it does," Severus takes a deep shuddering breath before continuing.

"Last night, it was horrible. The worst in a long time. He hurt her until she passed out I think. And I wanted to help, I wanted to help so badly but-" he cut himself off, a choked cry muffled behind his pursed lips. 

Harry couldn't keep to himself anymore. He sprung forward and wrapped Sev in his arms, feeling the older boy curl his arms around his waist, and pushing his face into his neck. 

They sat there for a few minutes while Severus quietly composed himself.

When he could breathe without shaking, he began again, but didn't move from his place. 

"I wanted to help, but I'm too small. He'd kill me. I tried before and he threw me like I weighed nothing. From then on whenever this happens mum puts a spell on my door so I can't get out until it's over. Last night… when she passed out, the spell stopped working, and I guess… he still had some leftover anger to work out," Severus finished with a small, quiet whimper.

Harry shook. With rage. 

The fact that there was absolute human filth that lived with _his_ Sev, placed their dirty hands on someone who had done nothing wrong but exist? 

Absolutely unacceptable. Harry would do something about this. It was about time he did something useful. 

He ran his fingers through Severus's hair and planned for the utter demise of a certain Tobias Snape.

~

He did it simply, but thoroughly. He was too small to do anything physically, but he knew a lot about plants from the wildflower book he'd snuck from Auntie Petunia's sparse bookshelf.

Well- he knew a lot about a few plants.

What Auntie Petunia didn't know, because she never bothered to read beyond the first few pages of books, was that in the back of the book about different teas you could make with wildflowers, there was a neat little list of lethal plants. 

~ 

Harry went back to the forest that night. 

He kept his eyes peeled for little pink flowers.

He was looking for a plant called _Oleander._ The book had said that when any part of the plant was consumed it could poison and kill a grown adult. 

When he’d read that, and seen the small picture beside the blurb, he had recalled seeing a small bush of pink flowers, near the edge of the forest, and they fit the description perfectly.

When he finally found the flowers he pulled on an old pair of gardening gloves he’d found in the shed in the backyard, and a little cloth bag. 

He plucked six leaves from the bush, and grimly placed them in the bag. He stood and knotted it shut tightly. 

~

It was quite simple in the end. Too poison Tobias Snape. 

He ground the leaves until they were a fine mush, wearing gloves, a cloth over his nose and mouth, and sunglasses over his eyes(you could never be too careful. He didn’t want to accidently poison himself before he could reap the results of his labor.)

To convince Severus was harder than he thought it would be, and he almost felt bad pulling the mum card.

“But Severus, when… when we go to Hogwarts I’m worried about how your mother will handle being alone with him more often… what if with you gone, she’ll be less careful about not angering him?”

It was a scummy move, but if it meant Severus would be safe once and for all then he’d do it. 

And it’s not like he was lying, he truly was worried about Sev’s mum.

Severus had already known what the plant was called and what it did, revealing an extensive knowledge of plants that Harry hadn't known about beforehand.

Harry had handed off the bag to Severus. The pulp inside in a small plastic bag to prevent it from leaking out. 

He told Severus to put it in his pa’s desert, to mix it well and make sure to put lots of sugar in to hopefully negate the taste.

Severus said they wouldn't have to worry about that. His father couldn’t taste much of anything anymore because of his daily alcohol intake. 

~

The next day Severus didn’t show up. Harry sat at their meetup place for hours, worrying himself half to death. He waited the next day too, but still no Severus. 

On the third day Harry was preparing himself to go to Spinner’s End himself, but finally, oh finally, Sev showed up. 

Harry had practically thrown himself at the other boy and wrapped him up in a tight hug.

The other boy curled his arms around Harry tightly, getting impossibly closer.

Harry pulled his head back and looked up at Severus, a question on his lips but not daring to spill out. Severus swallowed hard and gave a slight nod.

Harry let out a gasp of relief.

“What happened?”

Severus pulled away fully then and his face took on an odd expression.

“He- he ate the keylime mum made, it’s a bit bitter already so I put some sugar in, just in case he could taste again. He ate it just fine and went to the living room and put on the telly. He started drinking so mum sent me up to my room. I was really nervous so I stayed up for awhile. Then I heard him start throwing up. Mum must have just thought it was the drinking, so I didn’t hear her do anything. 

I fell asleep after a while, and mum woke me up in the morning to tell me he was dead.”

Severus took in a deep breath and sighed it out. Harry noticed he had a weary look to him, one that he didn’t have before.

He was worried now… what if this was too much for Sev? Poisoning his father?

Well, now that Harry put it that way, he could hear how absolutely insane it sounded.

But then he remembered Sev’s broken little voice, tears streaming down his face, all the bruises on his body- he felt justified then. 

He’d do anything to keep Sev safe. 

“The cops came then and an ambulance. But they didn’t really do anything. Just looked at him… and you can tell he’s a drunkard. They chalked it up to alcohol poisoning. It’s not really right but- it’s Spinner’s End so there are worse things happening there then- then that.”

Harry pulled Severus close again, knowing that even if his father had been abusive scum, he had still been his father. 

All hope that he could change one day, sober up and act like a real father- gone.

~

They didn't talk about it again after that. 

Both knew the consequences of anyone finding out, and they would rather move on from it, than anything.

Nowadays when Sev showed up, he seemed happier. Or at least, less sullen than before. 

He still didn't talk about his home life, but Harry noticed a lack of bruises anywhere on his body, and recently he'd been bringing snacks along as well.

They could deal with the trauma of what they had done later on in life. For now they wanted to be… just Harry and Severus.

* * *

Harry met Severus's mother on a balmy day at the end of August. 

She had taken him and Severus behind the small house for some reason, hidden behind a tall tree in the backyard.

She was a severe looking woman, and Harry could see where Sev had gotten his pale skin, arrow straight black hair, and no nonsense resting face. 

She was very tall as well, towering over the two boys and Harry imagined that that's how tall Severus would be when they grew up.

She wore some type of funny looking clothes, robe looking things in a deep shade of black. Maybe that's just how they dressed on Spinner's End? 

Either way, Harry didn't know how she could stand to wear them in this heat, he was sweating in just shorts and a t-shirt.

Severus had told Harry the day before that his mum would be taking them to a place called "Diagon Alley" to pick up their school supplies, and that he had to promise to be on his best behavior.

"When am I not Sev?"

"I'm serious Harry, my mum might be nice but she also doesn't take any sort of nonsense."

Harry had hmphed but promised Severus anyway, he didn't want to take any chances of being left behind.

"Hullo miss, I'm Harry Potter," Harry had said in a very serious grown up tone.

Harry saw a flash of recognition sweep across her face for just a split second before it was gone.

"You may call me Miss Snape dear. Now come along and take my hand, we're going to be doing something called _apparation_ in just a moment. You're going to hold on tightly to my hand and whatever you do, _don't let go_ ," Harry looked over at Severus, slightly panicked about what was about to happen, but Severus was just looking at his mum in barely concealed excitement.

Harry swallowed hard and took Miss Snape's hand in his own, briefly noting that Severus's hands were very similar.

That's all he could take note of before he saw her take a stick out of one of her deep pockets.

A wand! Sev had told him about those during one of their lessons! 

He watched intently as she moved it in a complicated way, and muttered something under her breath. He was just about to ask her what she was doing when her hand tightened hard around his and they all disappeared with a pop.

When they got out of whatever hellscape they had been in, Harry collapsed to his knees and caught himself from face planting with his palms. He gasped hard and tried to remember how to breathe.

A hand rubbed between his shoulders and another smaller one patted his head.

"Your first time?" Harry nodded his head shakily, still looking down.

"He lives with muggles mum," he heard Severus's soft voice say above him.

Miss Snape made a noise of understanding and they waited there until Harry’s breath evened out and he could sit up without throwing up.

Severus helped him up and curled an arm around his waist when he stumbled. 

Harry looked around and found that they were standing in front of a deserted looking bar.

He was surprised when Miss Snape led them inside. She nodded to the bar keep, and he gave a curt nod back.

They walked out the back of the bar into an alley, and Harry was beginning to feel confused. Was this Diagon Alley?

But then Miss Snape tapped a pattern out on the bricks in front of them with her wand and he forgot to breathe again.

The bricks moved to reveal a busy street with people bustling all around. They wore strange looking robes, and some of them had hats on the tops of their heads.

Miss Snape led them forward and Harry turned to Severus, wondering how he was taking all this, but he seemed very nonchalant about the whole thing, and Harry realized that he must have been here before. Of course.

Harry turned his head in all directions, trying to absorb as much as he could.

Miss Snape led them to a place she called _Gringotts._

“It’s where the wizarding world keeps their money Harry,” she said after she had caught his confused expression.

They went in and Harry was shocked to see short green looking men…they looked similar to goblins from stories he had read.

He knew about a few magical creatures from what Severus had told him, but he had never told him about goblins.

Harry suddenly remembered that he had absolutely no money. 

And he would rather die then ask Miss Snape to give him some, he didn’t want to inconvenience her in any way.

A hot blush overcame him and he felt like he might start crying at any moment. What was he to do with no money?

A small hand caught his own and gripped it tight.

“Harry? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Severus looked him up and down, worry clear on his face. Harry’s face crumpled and he sniffled hard, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Oh Sev, I’ve got no money, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he took in a shuddering breath and Severus looked at him with his brow furrowed, and pulled him closer into his side.

“Well, if anything, mum will pay for you,” and before Harry could express absolute vehemence at the idea, Severus placed a hand over Harry’s mouth.

“No. Harry it’ll be fine, mum has money that she can spend on the both of us. She’s been saving for a long time, so that she could pay for my supplies in case da wouldn’t. She has lots, I saw it.”

Harry was about to reject his offer when Miss Snape called the boys to come to her side in front of the receptionist’s desk.

“Harry, they’re going to need a drop of your blood so they can conduct an inheritance test. You don’t know who your parents are, correct?” at Harry’s quick nod she continued, “alright, bring your hand over here and they’ll give it a small prick.”

Harry hesitated but Severus squeezed his hand in silent encouragement. 

He hovered his hand over the counter, and the goblin behind the desk snatched it. Harry jerked forward, but before he could cry out, he felt a sharp prick in his fore finger. 

He jolted his hand back but by then it was too late. A bead of blood formed on the pad of his fingertip and he watched as it began to slide down his finger. 

“Give it here child,” a deep gravelly voice said. Harry slowly brought his hand back to the counter, pointing his finger out. It was gripped and pushed down hard onto a piece of paper. 

The paper flared brightly for just a moment before settling back to normal. 

The goblin looked over the paper and cleared his throat.

“It seems to be that you are a direct heir to the Potter fortune. Now,” the goblin hopped off his stool and only the top of his head was seen from the other side of the counter, “if you’ll follow me, I’ll bring you over to the carts.”

He led them to some mine carts that looked extremely rickety and overall like a death trap, and Harry considered not getting on, but Sev and his mum had already climbed in and he wasn’t about to be left alone out there. 

Another goblin was in the cart and he ignored them as they settled themselves.

Without a word of warning they were off, speeding much too fast for such a terrible cart.

Harry had a death grip on Severus and when the cart finally pulled to a jolting stop, it was a wonder the other boy could still breath.

“The Potter vault.”

Harry peeled himself from Sev and shakily climbed out, following the goblin over to his vault(supposedly.)

The goblin did something and then it was open, and Harry didn’t bother to swallow down his loud gasp.

Piles and piles of gold lay everywhere and treasures that Harry had only seen the likes of on the telly were laying about all around. In the back there were lots of portraits of people and Harry could have sworn one of them winked at him and another waved.

Harry gulped and pulled a small cloth bag out of his deep pocket, one that he kept on him at all times.

He walked in slowly and bent down to scoop up a few coins from a tiny pile. He let them fall into his bag, and when it was a quarter of the way full he stood up and walked out quickly.

He was extremely uncomfortable around all that gold. Seemingly all his. 

~

He’d been worried that Severus would be angry at him for whatever reason, for having so much money, but instead the other boy had smiled softly at him and held out a hand to help him into the cart.

When they arrived at the Prince vault(it was a surprise learning that Severus’s mum’s last name used to be Prince, and he secretly called him that in his head instead of Snape. Severus Prince.), Harry kept his eyes forward in respect, not wanting to be nosy.

And he had a feeling that Severus wouldn’t want him to look either.

~

When Harry got home that night he walked around the side of the house and used the back door. The Dursley’s had no idea that he’d been gone all day, in a whole new world.

Miss Snape had spelled his cloth bag to be able to hold all his things that day, making it become practically weightless and retain it’s normal state. She had warned him that it would only last a day, so he had to take out his things that night.

He opened the door as quietly as he could, at a snail’s pace, not wanting to wake the sleeping people inside. When he had succeeded, he scampered inside, closing the door silently behind him.

He tiptoed to his cupboard under the stairs, not even daring to breath. 

~

Once, when he had fallen asleep outside in the forest, he had come in very late. Which wasn't all that surprising, it happened often. 

He’d crept back in, just like this, but had made the mistake of knocking over a water pitcher made of glass. It’d shattered all over the kitchen floor and Harry had tried to force himself to cease to exist in that moment.

He could recall clearly, the feeling of sheer terror that had overcome him when thundering footsteps barrelled down the stairs.

He remembered limping to the forest the next morning and laying himself down carefully under his favorite tree.

Harry hadn't let himself cry that day, nor the night before. 

Because honestly, who would have cared?

~

Harry sat on his cot on the floor and scooted back until he had a small amount of space in front of him. He untied his bag from his wrist and set it on the floor.

Very carefully, and quiet as a mouse, he pulled his things out of the void in his bag.

Book after book came out, along with a potion making kit, three new sets of school robes and two casual. Harry had learned that everyone in the wizarding world wore robes.

He took out a brand new trunk and two pairs of dragonhide boots one a dark emerald green and the other an obsidian black. They were charmed to grow with the wearer, which he was extremely excited to put to the test. 

Harry had secretly gotten the black ones for Severus and he was going to give them to him on their first night of school, in only two days!!

He hoped Severus liked them. It was his first time ever giving a gift to anyone and he didn't know if he was going about things correctly… 

Harry folded his new robes reverently and set them down in the bottom of his new trunk. He stacked his books into a neat pile and set them on the other side of the robes, placing his potions kit on the very top.

He picked up the emerald boots and admired them thoroughly, turning them this way and that, making the dim light of the hanging bulb glint off of them. 

When he was done he put them in the trunk along with the black ones.

He took one last wistful look at the contents in his trunk before shutting it quietly. He pushed the trunk into the corner of his already limited space.

With the trunk in there now, there was only enough extra room for Harry to curl up in a ball on his cot and sleep that way. 

He didn't mind though, just had to remind himself that in only two days time, he'd be gone and the Dursley's wouldn't know what hit them.

Well… if they even noticed his absence.

Harry swallowed and shook his head quickly, dispelling his train of thought.

He leaned over and picked out a pair of sleeping shorts and a thin baggy t-shirt out of his small pile of folded clothes.

He changed sitting down and folded his worn clothes before setting them down next to his clean ones.

He reached up and pulled the string next to his light, turning it off with a quiet click.

~

He dreamt of dark eyes and small hands holding his own.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Severus talks about the night before, implying abuse from his father, and harry sees bruises on Severus's body, like he was beaten.  
> Harry and Severus kill his father. Not gruesome or graphic at all, it's by poison.  
> At the end of the chapter Harry remembers an event that ended in him being hurt by Vernon Dursley, it's implied he was injured, but doesn't go into detail at all. 
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> How was it??? I hope you liked it!  
> See you tomorowww:)
> 
> (Next chap they finally attend Hogwarts!)


	3. Slytherin

* * *

Two days passed quickly and before Harry knew it, he was pushing his trunk out the door and onto the sidewalk.

He stepped back into the house and called out loudly, “I’m leaving for school, I won’t be back until June. Goodbye.”

He heard a grunt come from the kitchen in response. He turned back around and shut the door behind him.

Miss Snape and Severus were waiting for him on the sidewalk outside his house.

“Good morning Harry,” Severus’s mum said as she came over to help him with his trunk. 

"Hullo Miss," he said before watching as she surreptitiously cast a spell on the trunk, and suddenly, it was light as a feather!

Severus walked over to them from where he had been observing one of Auntie Petunia’s more eccentric stone gnomes.

He grabbed one of Harry’s hands in his own and Harry giggled as Severus practically vibrated in excitement.

“Are you ready Harry?” he asked and Harry nodded quickly.

Miss Snape took Harry’s trunk from him and Severus tugged him to follow her.

She led them around the side of the house and behind the garden shed.

“We hide when we apparate so muggles won’t see us,” she told him, and Harry nodded in understanding.

“Did you forget anything Harry,” she asked all of a sudden.

“No, I’ve got everything in my trunk.”

“Are you sure?” Harry was about to say no again when he saw her pull his wand from her robe pocket!

He blushed hotly as she handed him his wand. He honestly couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed he’d forgotten it with her the day they went to Diagon Alley!

Severus snickered beside him and Harry yanked his hand out of his grip, huffing and crossing his arms. 

Severus tugged his hand back and held it in his own again, interlacing their fingers.

Miss Snape sighed at their antics and pulled them apart from each other.

“Now boys, I’m going to shrink Harry’s trunk so he can keep it in his pocket while we apparate. You may ask an older year on the train to turn it back to normal, understand?” Severus and Harry nodded quickly holding on tightly to her hands. 

She let go of Severus’s hand and muttered a spell. Then with a quick flick and swirl of her wrist Harry’s trunk was tiny.

He bent down and picked it up, admiring it for a moment before tucking it into his pocket.

She took Sev’s hand again and looked down at the two boys making sure they were ready. When they both gave slight nods, she tightened her grip and turned in place.

They appeared in front of the train station, where they were meant to board the _Hogwarts Express_. It was his first time on a train so he was rather excited.

They gave Harry a moment to gather himself before heading over to a seemingly random brick column.

He looked around wondering where the Hogwarts Express was, when all of a sudden Miss Snape was telling him to run through the brick.

She really must take him for a fool, and if this was her joking side Harry wasn’t sure he lik- he watched, frozen, as Severus ran at the column and he was mid-gasp when the other boy disappeared.

His jaw dropped and he looked up at Sev’s mum. She smirked and nudged him towards the column.

“Go on then, Severus is waiting for you on the other side.”

Harry gulped, anxious at the thought, “M-miss Snape, can you go through with me?” he looked up at her with his biggest puppy dog eyes, and they must have worked, because she simply pursed her lips and nodded.

She took his hand and led him through the wall.

He had closed his eyes, braced for impact, but when nothing happened other than an influx in noise, he cracked them open, daring to look around.

He gaped as he saw people milling around, adults and children, some wearing robes and others in horrid muggle fashion. 

Severus grinned at him from where he was standing close to the column and grasped his free hand in his own before turning to look at the enormous crowd of people as well.

Miss Snape led them both through the crowd of people, Harry’s hand still tucked in hers.

When they reached the huge train she turned back and looked at them both.

“I expect you to write letters at least once a week, and your marks to be in tip top shape all year,” Harry was surprised when she directed those words at him as well.

Severus nodded and when she turned her expectant gaze on Harry as well he nodded furiously.

“Of course Miss Snape, I’ll do my best!”

“Me too mum.”

Miss Snape smiled down at them and stooped, hugging Severus tightly in her arms.

Severus cuddled close and Harry looked away, not wanting to intrude on such a private moment. 

They pulled away from each other and Miss Snape caught Harry in a hug as well. 

“Take care of him Harry, the best you can,” she whispered in his ear. 

Before he could respond she pulled away. 

The train whistled and when Harry looked around he saw that the platform was almost empty of children, mainly adults left.

“Off you go then,” Miss Snape said, and helped them climb onto the train.

The door closed and when Harry turned to wave goodbye she was gone.

“She hates goodbyes,” Severus said quietly from beside him.

~

They had found an empty compartment far in the back of the train. Harry felt a bit overwhelmed from all the noise and people already, ready to nap on the way to Hogwarts.

He’d curled up on one of the seats, laying his head on Severus’s lap.

Severus had pulled a small book from one of his deep pockets and began to read while Harry got ready to doze.

“Sev,” he said quietly.

Severus looked down at him, a question on his face.

“Will you read to me until I fall asleep please?”

The tips of Severus’s ears went pink before he nodded slightly and began.

Harry fell asleep, rocked by the train’s gentle movements, and the soft tone of Severus’s voice in his ear. 

~

He was woken up by Severus a while later, holding some snacks from the food cart that had gone by.

They shared candy and Harry was surprised and a bit disgusted when Severus popped a wiggling chocolate frog into his mouth. 

"Try one Harry, they're delicious," Severus said, but Harry simply turned his head away, nose wrinkling in distaste. 

They passed the rest of the time reading from Severus’s book and eating candy, Harry giggling at the face Severus made when he ate a barf tasting jelly bean.

A high voice called out from behind their closed door when the sky was turning a deep pink and orange,

“Get ready to get off the train in 15 minutes time!”

It moved on quickly and he and Severus shared a look with each other, both silently panicking. They hadn’t unshrunk their trunks!

“Do you suppose we should go ask someone?”

Severus swallowed and nodded his head slowly.

They got up together and Harry curled an arm around Severus’s waist, fear overcoming him.

They stepped out of their safe haven and walked to the compartment across from theirs. Severus held up a shaky fist and knocked on the door twice.

They waited and a moment later the door slid open and Harry had to tilt his head back to see who had opened it.

He met the gaze of piercing grey eyes, on the most beautiful man he had ever seen. 

Tall and slender with light blonde hair tumbling around his face, lips plush and pink, and his nose straight, just like a Greek statue's.

Harry gulped and tugged Severus closer to him.

When it became apparent that Sev was too stunned to speak, Harry looked up at the ma-boy? Teen? Harry looked up at the teen.

“Um, excuse me, we’re very sorry to bother you, but could you please unshrink our trunks? We’re first years, and we haven't learned how to yet.”

The teen stared down at them with an unimpressed look on his face, then he looked impatient.

“Well? What are you waiting for?”

Harry and Severus were confused for just a moment before scrambling to get their trunks from their pockets and give them to the teen.

He set them on the ground and murmured an incantation. He snapped his wand upwards, then down and in a tight circle. 

Harry watched closely as the trunks began to grow to their original sizes quickly.

Harry grinned up at the teen, “Thank you so much! What’s your name?” Severus made a funny noise beside him, but Harry ignored him, still meeting the gaze of the older boy.

The teen suddenly smirked and dipped down until his face was only a few centimeters from Harry’s.

Harry felt the tip of the other boys wand go under his chin and tilt his head back. 

“I’m Lucius. Lucius Malfoy,” he said icily, breath hot on Harry’s face.

Harry held the other’s gaze for a few moments, not even blinking.

He felt like he was in a daze… what was that feeling in his head… sort of like… smoke on water… 

Severus tugged him back and away from Lucius, tucking him into his side.

“Thank you for your help, we’ll be going now,” Severus said, his voice tight.

He pulled Harry back into the compartment and shut the door with a loud thump.

Harry looked over at Sev in surprise and then at the ground where he had almost tripped over their trunks.

Apparently Severus had pushed them in here at some point.

“He was using legilimency on you Harry, he was going through your mind.”

Harry looked at him in shock.

“Wizards can do that?!” 

Severus nodded gravely, pulling Harry close to him again.

Harry still felt a bit off kilter so he was glad for the comfort of being close to Severus.

A few moments later they pulled away from each other and silently agreed to get ready to leave the train.

Harry pulled out a pair of his school robes from his trunk and turned away from Severus to tug them on. 

When he turned back he and Severus were both ready.

“Leave your trunks in your compartments, you will find them in your rooms after the feast!” A loud voice echoed throughout the train. Harry supposed the announcement had been done by magic.

The train shuddered to a jolting stop a few moments later and Harry fell back into his seat, a yelp falling from his lips. 

Amazingly Severus had stood upright throughout the ordeal… what couldn’t he do, honestly? He was sure he would have been jealous of his balance if Severus hadn’t been his closest friend in the whole entire world. 

They waited at least five minutes before peeking out into the hall, making sure Lucius had left before disembarking the train.

Severus pointed out a group of children as small as they were, huddled all together near a bunch of boats.

"I think those are the first years," Harry nodded and stuck close to Severus as they walked to the group.

They stood off to the side, a bit away from the other children, waiting for instruction. 

"Alright everyone, settle down!" A woman appeared in front of the first years and Harry felt a bit afraid of her, she seemed very strict.

"I am Professor McGonagall and I am the head of Gryffindor. You'll be getting on the boats in a moment, and once you arrive at the castle you will be sorted in alphabetical order. Make sure there are only six of you to a boat, or you will capsize," she said, her voice booming over them. 

The first years all rushed to the boats, Harry and Severus trailing behind them, not wanting to get swept into the crowd.

Once mostly everyone was seated, Harry tugged Severus to a boat, empty save for three other boys.

Severus stepped onto the boat before Harry could, turned and offered his arm so Harry wouldn't fall.

They sat close to each other on their seat facing the other boys who had stopped their roughhousing to watch them get in.

"Hullo, I'm Harry Potter and this is Severus Snape," Harry smiled widely at them.

One of the boys had a contemplative look on his face before nodding his head,

"Potter I've heard of, but Snape? You must be muggle born then," the black haired boy said.

"Muggle born? What's that," Harry asked, confused.

The boy across from Severus turned to him, a tall brunette with a jagged scar across his face, the tip of another peeking from the collar of his robe. 

"A muggle born is someone who was born to two muggles with no previous magical ancestry," he said softly.

"I'm Remus Lupin by the way, and this is Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew," he added, smiling, and gestured to the two other boys. Sirius gave him a half smirk and Peter smiled shyly at them giving him a little wave. 

Harry grinned back, liking the other boys already.

"Well I'm not muggle born, my mum's a witch," Severus said haughtily.

"I don't know who my parents are," Harry admitted sadly, "so I'm not sure what I am," Severus shuffled closer to Harry, but he wasn't sure how, seeing how they were practically glued to each other's sides already.

Remus hummed in sympathy, a sorry look in his eyes.

"Well I've heard the last name Potter, so you're at least a halfblood," Sirius said. He had short black hair, almost as black as Severus's, and grey eyes.

Harry nodded, not really paying attention anymore, instead he was looking out at the water, wondering what lay below. He watched as the shore quickly approached, the boat having sailed magically across the water.

The boat touched the shore a few moments later and the other boys stood and stumbled out onto land, heading up the stone steps immediately, waving at them over their shoulders before disappearing inside. 

Big wooden doors were opened wide to welcome in the new and returning students and warm light flooded out into the dark night from inside.

Harry and Severus stepped off the boat together following the crowd of other first years scrambling up and into the giant castle.

~

They all waited in a group in the Great Hall, waiting to be sorted. Harry had read all about it in one of the books he had gotten the day they went to Diagon Alley.

He'd read over every house and their traits, especially Slytherin, but still hadn't settled on which house he thought would suit him best.

He'd already decided that Severus was a Slytherin, no doubt about it. Ambitious and cunning were two of the main traits of his personality.

He hadn't told Severus this though, not wanting to influence his decision.

They waited as first year after first year were called up and sorted.

By the time it came to Harry's name he was shaking like a leaf, terrified of… well he didn't really know what he was scared of, it was just an old hat.

Severus gave his hand a quick squeeze before nudging him towards a waiting Professor McGonagall and the drooping hat.

Harry shuffled himself forward, taking ages to walk across the front of the Great Hall and seating himself on the small stool. The professor placed the hat on his head and the hall disappeared from his view.

_Hello there little one._

Harry jolted in his seat, shocked at the voice in his head.

_No need to worry, I'm the hat._

Harry swallowed, not sure if that was meant to comfort him or not.

_Alright then, onto the sorting. Now it seems to be that you are loyal, brave, clever, and trusting to a fault. You've been through a lot Harry. But which house shall suit you best??_

Harry thought about Severus, wondering what house he'd be in in the end.

_Ah, I see. You have a friend here with you today. Well, it seems that you'd be best in either Slytherin house or Gryffindor. What do you suppose Harry?_

He thought of Severus again, wondering how he'd cope if he were to be separated from him.

 _It'll have to be "_ SLYTHERIN!"

The hat was pulled off his head and Harry blinked hard at the sudden rush of light.

There was a polite clapping coming from a table of straight backed students, green accenting their robes and ties.

Harry stood up off the stool and glanced over at Severus, who still stood with a small group of first years.

He grinned over at him before scampering off to the table sitting himself down near the end, so that if Severus was sorted into Slytherin, they could sit together.

A tiny blonde girl sitting across from him leaned forward, a smile on her lips.

"I'm Lucy Meadows, I'm a first year too!" Harry vaguely recalled her being sorted two names before him.

"My name's Harry Potter," he said quietly, not wanting to disrupt the sorting taking place.

Lucy met his gaze shyly, tucking her hair behind her ears, “I’m really nervous, my brother’s a third year in Slytherin and he’s told me lots about the workings of being in this house, and it seems very competitive… but who doesn’t like a bit of competition?” Harry almost flinched at the sudden change in the girl’s sweet face.

Harry thought about befriending her, she seemed like she could be a fountain of knowledge and he had a feeling that it would be necessary to have a few allies in this house. But he wasn’t really sure how to go about befriending a girl, the only friend he had ever made was Severus after all and he was a boy…

Lucy saved him the hassle by asking if he wanted to play Gobstones the next morning. He didn’t know what that was but he agreed, hoping that Severus had some idea of what it was. 

“Oh look, isn’t that the boy you were holding hands with?”

Harry whipped his head to the front of the Great Hall just in time to see Professor McGonagall set the sorting hat on Severus’s head.

It was there for what seemed like only a second before it yelled out, 

“SLYTHERIN!” 

Harry let out a loud whoop and ignored the frowns of distaste pointed in his direction from the other Slytherins.

Severus walked quickly between the tables, his cheeks pink and a small smile on his lips. 

Harry patted the seat beside him and Severus sat down gracefully. He almost laughed at how quickly Sev had acclimated to a Slytherin's nature.

“Severus! I just knew you were a Slytherin! I’m so glad we were sorted in the same house,” his smile felt huge on his face but he really couldn’t help it, he was just so excited!

“I’m happy too Harry, although I was a bit surprised when you were sorted Slytherin,” Severus contemplated something for a moment before grinning evilly, “you’re a bit like a marshmallow, very sweet and soft, I thought you’d be a Hufflepuff for sure,” Harry didn’t really know what that meant, having only studied Slytherin in depth, but he took offense regardless. 

“Well I knew you’d be a Slytherin, scheming as you are,” Lucy’s giggle overpowered Sev’s huff of offense and Harry suddenly remembered his new friend.

“Sev! This is my new friend Lucy Meadows, isn’t she pretty?” he gestured to Lucy, smiling happily. Lucy blushed and nodded towards Sev in greeting. 

Severus stiffened then, an odd look coming over his face. He stared at Lucy and Harry could have sworn Severus’s overall aura became very gloom and doom. 

How very odd… maybe he was hungry? They had, after all, only eaten candy today.

“Lucy do you know when the food will be served?”

Lucy nodded quickly, “My brother told me that after the headmaster’s speech the food will appear on the table magically,” Harry sighed in satisfaction, excited at the thought of eating soon.

He glanced over at Severus, “Did you hear that Sev? Food will be here soon.” Severus nodded shortly and then he pushed himself closer to Harry, practically on top of him.

Harry giggled quietly, aware of the headmaster giving a speech in the background.

He pushed at Severus trying to get him to sit in his own seat normally. Severus grumbled and settled for plastering his entire side to Harry’s, ankle to shoulder connected.

“What’s gotten into you Sev?” a thought came to him then and he hummed in understanding, and he leaned to whisper in Severus’s ear, “You’re nervous aren’t you. Scared?”

Sev looked at him, the corner’s of his mouth pulled down. He seemed to debate something in his head before answering softly, “Sure,” face close enough to Harry’s that he could feel his breath on his face.

The speech had apparently ended during their brief exchange because dishes of all sorts appeared in front of them then, and Harry forgot to analyze over what Severus said, appetite taking up the forefront of his brain. 

~

He remembered it later that night, curled up in Severus’s bed coiled around the other boy. 

He’d been anxious to sleep somewhere new with other people he didn’t know and had practically begged Severus to let him sleep in his bed.

Sev had been quick to agree and Harry knew then that Severus must be anxious too. 

He thought about Severus’s response earlier, the "sure". What kind of reply was that? He could have said yes or no… it didn't make any sense.

A yawn came from one of the other boys in the room, interrupting his train of thought.

He turned his head, looking over at Severus's peaceful face close to his.

His eyelids felt heavy watching Severus sleep.

 _I'll think about it more tomorrow,_ he thought, before sleep overcame him.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I've finally decided on an updating schedule:) I'm editing before I post chapters, so I'm going to post on Tuesdays, and most likely Fridays! 
> 
> Anyways I hope you liked today's chapter!  
> Bye for now:D <3


	4. Blackmail

Year 1: October

* * *

“Harry do you want to go to the library and finish writing our essays for Transfiguration?” 

“I’d love to Sev, but I already promised Lucy and Alexei that I’d meet them at the lake in twenty minutes, you could join us if you’d like?”

“You know that Alexei doesn’t like me Harry,” Severus huffed out. 

“That’s not true Severus! He looked at you funny one time, that doesn’t mean he dislikes you. I’m sure you’d get along really well if you gave him a chance.”

Severus pursed his lips and turned his head away from Harry stubbornly.

Harry didn’t like it when he got like this. At first it was fine. They had both been anxious about being in a new place with a whole bunch of new people, but it was like Severus refused to adapt.

They’d both met Alexei together (a sweetheart with tightly curled black hair, infectious smile and quite tall), when the other boy had been partners with them in Potions, after Professor Slughorn had an uneven amount of people in class. Harry did a lot of the talking since Sev was mostly shy around new people, but he hadn’t expected him to be shy forever!

Whenever Harry invited him to hang out, or practically dragged him there, Severus always left early, insisting that Harry come back to the dorms as well. 

It was getting on his nerves a bit. 

And it’s not like Severus couldn’t make friends on his own. There were plenty of people who had asked him to come play games, to study with them in the library, or sit with them in the Great Hall during mealtimes, but Severus always refused, preferring Harry’s company. 

And apparently preferring that Harry only spent time with him as well. 

Harry had discovered that at the root of himself, he was a bit of a social butterfly. 

He loved spending time with Severus, considered him his other half, the person he cared about more than anyone else in the world, but he needed space as well sometimes. Spending all your time with only one person couldn’t be healthy.

But Severus couldn’t understand that. Well- he actually could, he was incredibly smart, but he was a very stubborn boy who didn’t know what personal space was when it came to Harry. 

“Severus. Look at me.” 

Severus ignored him, looking out at the murky green water outside of the common room window. 

“I’m serious,” Harry said.

Severus sighed and turned to him, raising a brow, “Yes Harry?”

“Sev, you have to make new friends. You know that I care about you more than anything, but only spending time with me won’t be good for you in the long run. Didn’t Sirius ask you to play wizard chess with him a few days ago?”

Severus grumbled out a yes. 

“Why’d you say no, you and I both know that all you did that day was eat chocolate frogs in bed and read.”

“I don’t want to be friends with Sirius, he’s loud and too competitive,” Severus said petulantly.

Harry stared at Severus in disbelief, lips parted, eyes wide, “But Severus! We’re Slytherins! Competition is the whole theme around here!” 

Severus huffed out a laugh then, slumping back into the couch they were sitting on.

He turned his head to Harry, watching him with his big dark eyes. A sudden pout came to his mouth and Harry felt like he was losing then. Losing a game he hadn’t even known they were playing. 

He sighed, knowing that he had been defeated, and curled up close to Severus, letting his head fall on his shoulder and felt Severus wrap an arm around his waist. 

“This isn’t over you know. You’re coming with me too see Lucy and Alexei whether you like it or not. Plus you like Lucy, don’t you?” Severus pouted again, a sad “yes” slipping from his mouth. 

Harry grinned.

~

They’d had a wonderful time at the lake whether Severus would admit it or not. 

As Harry had expected, when Severus had taken down his barriers just a bit when it came to Alexei, they got along like a house on fire. 

It turned out that they both had extensive knowledge on plants and shared a passion for potions. 

He and Lucy had collapsed in the grass, laughing hard at how intense they looked discussing whether clovers belonged in a luck potion or not, _“Of course they do! It’s a luck potion isn’t it? And what are clovers?? The symbol of luck!”_

_“That’s four-leaf clovers you dunderhead!”_

So yes, they’d had a wonderful time.

It was a shame that his mood was ruined by an invasive Lucius Malfoy.

They’d been walking down to the Great Hall for dinner, Alexei having gone back to the Gryffindor dorms to drop off the blanket they had used by the lake.

It had just been Lucy, Severus and him when Lucius had appeared out of nowhere, stepping right in front of Harry and making him stumble.

“Hello little Harry Potter,” he said, maliciousness practically dripping from his tone.

Harry scrunched his nose up in annoyance, his mood instantly deflating at the sight of the teen who had entered his mind without consent. 

He didn't know what he had been trying to do, but it couldn’t have been anything but evil. 

“Lucius, did you need something?”

“As a matter of fact I do. You’re going to meet me tonight at 2.”

“I don’t know what kind of idiot you think I am, but there is no way in Hades that I’m going to meet someone the likes of you in the middle of the night. Or ever for that matter."

Lucius leaned down then, and Harry had an intense feeling of déjà vu.

The teen put his mouth close to his ear, his lips just barely touching the lobe, and Harry shuddered in disgust.

“Oh you will, little _murderer_. Do you still keep oleander leaves in your cloth bag?” he whispered in Harry’s ear. 

Harry felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. His breath caught in his throat and he felt like he was choking.

“H-how did y-you,” and then it hit him. 

Of course. 

“You will meet me in the classroom three doors down from the Potion’s room at 2. If you don’t,” he leaned back slightly and met Harry’s eyes, just an inch away, “well I’m sure Severus would be a suitable replacement.” Lucius stood back up to his full height, smirking down at Harry before turning and stalking away. 

He heard twin gasps all of a sudden, and he looked over at Severus and Lucy, just in time to see Sev barrelling towards him, catching him in a tight hold, their bodies flush.

“He cast _Immobulus_ on us! Wordlessly! I didn’t even know that was possible,” Lucy said in a quiet voice, anger with poorly concealed awe. 

“Are you okay Harry? What’d he do to you? He didn’t go into your mind again did he? There’s no way you’re meeting him tonight,” Severus said all in a rush. 

Harry swallowed hard, trying to match his breaths to those of Severus', still trying to figure out how to breathe properly again. 

He thought about telling Severus, but… he didn’t want him to be unnecessarily stressed out. 

He also didn’t want him to be in any danger, like he inevitably would be. 

“He just told me that he wanted to copy my essay for _History_ _of_ _Magic._ He has a cousin who's a first year that hasn’t done it yet, but of course I’m not going to go, I don't want to be an accomplice to cheaters,” it was an incredibly bad lie and Harry was ready with another excuse on the tip of his tongue but to his surprise, Severus accepted it immediately. 

Perhaps it was true that ignorance was bliss. 

But that had never applied to Severus, sweet, curious, nosy when it came to anything Harry, Severus. 

So Harry knew that Sev had caught his lie and was planning on following him that night, or was concocting some other harebrained scheme. 

Well not on his watch he wouldn’t. 

He let Severus think he had relaxed him with his acceptance. 

He met Sev’s gaze and smiled sweetly, still pressed in a tight hug.

“Well it’s great Harry, that you’re not giving in, you shouldn’t let older years push you around,” Lucy piped up, grinning. 

“Of course Lucy,” Harry said, breaking his gaze with Severus and pulling away from the other. 

“So, dinner?”

~

He’d had a suspiciously easy time sneaking off.

Severus had stuck to him like glue the rest of the night, not letting Harry out of his sight. 

When they finally went to bed at 10, Harry had stayed awake by reading his textbook for _Astronomy._ It was terribly boring. 

He cast a _tempus_ and saw that the time was 1:45 AM.

He peeked out of the crack between his drawn curtains and saw that Severus’s wand wasn’t on his bedside table. 

So he was still awake. Interesting.

Harry crept out of bed through the slip in his curtains as quietly as he could, not even taking in a breath.

He carefully walked to the door in socked feet, not bothering to put on shoes, knowing how loud it would be. 

He cast a _silencio_ on the creaky door, knowing it would be very weak, as he had hardly dared to whisper it, but it would get the job done. 

He looked back one last time and let himself feel bad for just a moment, before slipping through the opening and down the stairs. 

~

On the way to the classroom, Harry wondered why on earth Lucius needed to meet him. 

They’d only seen eachother a few times since the incident, never acknowledging the other. 

Lucius had been saving that bit of information for awhile, Harry may have been surprised if it was anyone else, but of course, a Slytherin never runs out of patience, always waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

But still, what a slimy snake, using Severus against him like that. 

Harry finally reached the door of the classroom, his feet, even in socks, cold against the stone floor.

He looked both ways, his eyes peeled for any moving shadows, but seeing none he set his hand on the handle.

He opened the heavy wooden door slowly, expecting an… attack or something. 

But none came.

Lucius leaned against an old teacher's desk, bathed in the blueish hue of moonlight seeping in from the window. 

“Harry, I’m surprised you came.”

“No you’re not.”

Lucius grinned, and Harry wondered why he’d ever thought he had been handsome. He could see now that his beauty was tainted by an undertone of maliciousness. 

“Why did you want to meet.”

“I’ll keep this simple, it’s late and I’m sure we’re both tired,”

Harry watched as Lucius stood from his lean and sat in the big wooden chair behind the desk, gesturing for Harry to sit down in the seat before it. 

Harry rolled his eyes and plopped himself down, waiting for the no doubt dramatic explanation.

“I have a Lord. I won’t tell you his name, not yet, but he is the most powerful wizard alive, not even Grindelwald can compare. He has a mission. Would you like to hear it Harry?” he said, his voice deceptively soft. 

Harry nodded for him to continue, slightly intrigued now.

“He wants to cleanse wizarding kind. Bring us back to our once mighty status and clean blood, now soiled by muggles and mudbloods,” he spit the words out like they were a curse, as if they disgusted him.

Harry was sickened to say the least. He’d never even heard the word mudblood, but figured that it was a play on muggleborn. 

He wanted to leave, but knew if he didn’t hear Lucius out until the end, there would be dire consequences.

Lucius composed himself and continued, “Now you may be wondering, where do you fit into this? Well, I’ll tell you little one. I’ve seen into your mind,” Harry felt his throat tighten, felt a bit violated honestly, “I’ve seen how those wretched muggles treated you. How you were beaten by them. How they thought of you as less. You! A wizard! I saw the way you orchestrated the murder of Severus’s father, a disgusting muggle. When I came across that Harry, do you know what I thought?” he whispered, a deadly undertone. Harry shook his head slowly, feeling his skin crawl, barely keeping it together.

He felt like prey.

“I thought, _what a perfect catalyst to our movement_.” he laughed out loud, as if this were funny, as if it were a game to him. Perhaps it was.

Harry wanted to scream.

“You’ll be perfect Harry, I simply know it,” he grinned.

“I-I still don’t understand what you want from me Lucius.”

Lucius stared at him, and Harry could have sworn the pupils of his eyes turned into slits, but when he blinked, they were back to normal.

He must be more tired than he thought.

“I want you to cause a stir among the younger years in the house of Slytherin. I’ll start a few rumors on my end, and you will fuel them with your stories about the muggles beating you. They will be rightfully sickened by muggles abusing a wizard, someone who is naturally, in every way possible, better than a muggle. They will be angry and that’s when I’ll step in, introducing them to the idea of my Lord’s movement.”

Harry opened his mouth to refuse, but Lucius watched him again, pinning him down with his gaze, and Harry shut his mouth with an audible click. 

“And if you refuse,” he said in a hushed tone, “I will make sure all of Hogwarts knows about your little scheme by morning. Imagine it,” he said giddily, leaning in closer from across the desk, “all your little friends will know what you’ve done. All the professors too! And oh Merlin, I can’t even begin to imagine how Headmaster Dumbledore will react! At best you’ll be expelled and be forced to live with your muggles for the next 7 years, at worst you’ll be tossed right into Azkaban, oh, and Severus as well of course,” Lucius tilted his head, smiling sweetly.

“So… do I have your agreement Harry?”

He trembled, his lips parting to let out a watery sigh. 

“Yes.”

* * *

He trudged back to the Slytherin dormitory on shaky legs, not even noticing how his feet were freezing from the cold.

He whispered the password and when he stepped through the door into the common room he was met with a fuming Severus.

“Harry! Where the hell have you been, you better not have gone out and met Lu-” he stopped abruptly, seeing the tears streaming down Harry’s face.

Gasping he rushed forward and caught him in a tight hold, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close.

“Harry what’s wrong? Did Lucius t-touch you, I swear to Merlin if he did I’ll castrate him and make hi-” he cut himself off as Harry laughed quietly, pushing his face closer into the dip where Sev’s neck met his shoulder. 

“No Severus, nothing like that. We just had a discussion. But Sev,” he leaned back from the other boy’s neck and looked up into his dark eyes, feeling his fill up with more tears, “I’m really, really tired, can we please go to bed. My head hurts terribly, I’ll tell you about what happened tomorrow, I promise.” 

Severus looked hesitant, but seeing a fresh round of tears start falling down Harry’s cheeks he nodded his head reluctantly, ushering him back up the stairs and to the dormitory. 

They both silently slipped into Severus’s bed and Sev drew the curtains shut. 

They cuddled up close, under the thick blanket, facing eachother, and Severus reached up his hand, wiping Harry’s cheeks dry with his pajama sleeve. 

“Oh Harry,” Severus whispered, looking like he was about to cry himself. 

“It’s alright Severus, I promise nothing horrible happened. Let’s sleep now, okay?”

Severus nodded. Harry closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

When morning came, the water outside the window brightening from the sun shining through it, Harry still hadn’t managed to slip into unciousness. His eyes were sore from crying and staying up all night.

He sighed, wondering if this was the last peaceful morning he’d have with Severus for awhile. 

He cuddled closer in Severus' arms with that thought in mind. Listening to the even breaths of the other boy. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucius, a very manipulative teenager. A terrible guy, honestly.  
> Let the angst begin:,)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> Bye for now, thank you for reading!! <3


	5. Bunnies with a side of betrayal

* * *

“It doesn’t sound so bad.”

“And so then he sai-,” Harry froze for a moment, then turned to Severus, “Could you repeat that please?”

Severus looked a bit uncertain now, picking at a thread on his sleeve, but Harry looked at him, smiling softly, nodding for him to go on. 

“I-I said that it doesn’t sound so bad,” he repeated. 

Harry tapped his foot against the stone floor quickly, inhaling deeply, trying to get his heartbeat under control. 

“Severus, I’m not sure you understood me, so I’ll say it again. Lucius wants me to tell the other years about my experience with abuse, so that they will become angry and then become brainwashed by him and his Lord’s agenda. _To get rid of muggles,”_ Harry watched Severus’ expression carefully, daring him to say what he had said again. 

Severus swallowed, and crossed his legs as he leaned against his headboard, but all of a sudden he tensed up again, putting on a face of certainty, 

“Yes, it doesn’t sound that bad. But I don’t think it should be you who has to talk about your abuse. I will instead,” Severus said, his tone firm. 

“Merlin Severus, you’ve gone off the deep end. You’re truly saying that you agree? That muggles should be considered less than wizards because of their blood? Muggleborns? Alexei is a muggleborn, do you believe him to be less as well?”

“No of course not, Alexei is differe-”

“How is he different? What’s the difference between him and every other muggleborn in this school?” Harry said, anger starting to rise up in him, making him tremble. He really couldn’t believe what was coming out of Severus’ mouth. 

But then he came to a sudden realization. He’d only known Severus for what? Four months? A sick feeling came over him… he didn’t really know Severus at all. 

His eyes began to sting and he tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, clenching his hands into fists until the sting of his fingernails in his palms made him wince. 

“I just think that maybe we should hear Lucius out more, that his Lord could be onto something. All the muggles I’ve ever met have been terrible people, and all the adults at Hogwarts are really incredible. And I’ve heard some things going around, even before this, where people were saying that muggleborns water down magic, and it’s not as pure or powerful as say, a half-bloods or a pure-bloods,” he said and he really sounded as if he believed what he was saying to be true.

“Severus, I know that the experiences we’ve had with muggles haven’t been good, but that’s not true of all muggles. My primary school teacher was the sweetest person I’ve ever met, she always took really good care of me and let me eat with her in the classroom during lunchtime. What Lucius and his Lord want are to discriminate against muggles, and who knows what that could lead to. What if they want to kill them next? Would you agree to that as well?” Severus looked down at his folded hands in his lap, contemplating. 

When he looked back up again his face was flushed down to his neck, his lips pursed in that way that showed he was annoyed, and Harry dreaded what he was going to say next. 

“I’m not saying that all muggles are bad Harry, but the majority of them are, wizards should be separate from them, to prevent these sorts of things from happening. The abuse and such. Many muggles don’t understand magic Harry, and sometimes they’ll resort to violence against things they don’t understand or can’t control. I just think it’s odd that both of us went through those sorts of things with muggles, and I’ve heard about other cases similar to ours.”

Harry felt his eyes watering and wiped at them with small fists, trying to take in a breath without letting out his tears. 

“Severus. Is this what you truly believe?” Harry asked, his fists still to his eyes. 

“Yes.”

Harry sniffled hard and stood up from where he’d been sitting on the edge of Severus’ bed. 

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore, Severus.”

He walked to the door of the dorm quickly, ignoring Severus’ gasp of disbelief and the sound of loud rustling coming from his bed. He had just opened the door when a hand clenched around his upper arm and yanked him back.

“Don’t say that Harry, take it back,” Severus said, trying to sound firm but Harry could hear the undercurrent of fear there.

“Let go Severus, I won’t take it back, if you believe in blood purity and all that shit then you’re not the person I thought you were,” Harry said, his voice rising with every word. Severus flinched but didn’t let go of Harry’s arm.

“And I’m starting to regret not seeing it before this.”

“H-Harry, if you’d just list-,” Harry shoved the other boy away from him, and he stumbled back, tears streaming down his face now, “I’ve heard enough! Just… just stay away from me from now on,” he whispered. Before Severus could grab him again, he rushed through the door and slammed it shut behind him. 

He took in a deep shuddering breath and walked quickly down the stairs, ignoring the shouts of his name coming from behind him. 

He ran through the common room and down hall after hall, until he had reached the doors of the school’s entrance. He opened them and sprinted down into the grass and to the forest. 

When he was nearly there he was gasping for breath and there was a stitch in his side. 

He chanced a glance back and saw Severus at the doors of the castle, looking as if he was going to follow him again.

He let out a growl of frustration and walked briskly to the Forbidden Forest, rubbing at his side. 

He paused briefly just before he entered, wondering what could be inside that made it forbidden, but then he heard his name again, much closer now, and he shook his fear away and stepped in, feeling as if he had tipped over a cliff’s edge.

~

He’d been walking for awhile now, the forest floor dark from the canopy of trees blocking out the sun. 

Harry was shivering from the cold, running his hands up and down his arms, trying to get a bit of warmth going. 

He’d stupidly forgotten his wand back at the dorm in his rush out, and he regretted it, but not enough to go back just yet. 

His tears had long since stopped, dried tear tracks down his cheeks the only evidence now. 

He could sort of see where Severus was coming from, and the logic he was using, but it just wasn’t true. 

Harry had grown up in a similar way, it hadn’t been as bad as Severus’ experience, but it had still been pretty awful. Harry supposed that may have been a contributing factor as to why Sev was more likely to agree that muggles are bad and should be separated. 

But still. Harry knew lots of kind muggles and even if he didn’t, he still didn’t believe that others were less than him just because of some fluke where he had magic and they didn’t. 

Surely Severus’ mother didn’t agree with him. 

Harry felt uncomfortable then, when he thought about the fact that he hadn’t thought Severus was like that, but it turned out he was. And _she_ had raised him so who knew what she believed. 

He stopped in his tracks, finally standing still and taking a look at his surroundings. He’d been wandering aimlessly, but he regretted it now that he didn’t have a clue where he was.

“Damn.”

There was hardly any light where he was, like the dusk before sundown, but he knew for a fact that it was only one in the afternoon. 

Harry swallowed hard and turned around, hoping that he could follow his tracks and find his way back. 

He’d gone into the forest because he wanted a way to get away from Severus where he wouldn’t follow him, and to gather his thoughts in a similar place that brought him comfort back at the Dursley’s.

Harry walked back the way he came for a while, arms crossed across his chest, taking high steps so his pant legs wouldn’t get caught on branches and other things. 

He heard a rustling all of a sudden and he stilled completely, breath shallowing.

His ears strained to listen and he pinpointed the sound to a small bush right beside him. 

“Hello?” he waited silently. 

Another rustle and a little black bunny hopped out of the bush. Harry’s lips parted in surprise and he fell to his knees, trying to get a closer look.

“Hullo there tiny one,” he whispered softly.

The bunny looked up at him, and Harry watched as it’s nose twitched and it stumbled a bit closer to him. 

He reached out and set his hands face up on the ground, so that the bunny could come to him if it wanted too. 

He waited what seemed like ages, but finally it shuffled into the dip of his hands and settled there, resting its head on the curve of his palm. 

Harry’s bottom lip pouted out and trembled, overwhelmed by the cuteness of the sweet animal.

He sniffled and slowly raised his hands, holding the bunny to his chest. It cuddled closer and Harry had to look away, trying not to tear up again. 

It was a very emotional day for him. 

He looked around for a bit, trying to see if the bunny had crawled out of a burrow or something, but there were no signs of anything, nor were there any signs of other animals living there currently. 

He looked down at the bunny, settled in the curve of his arm. He ran a single finger down it’s head and over it’s spine, and watched as it shook, pushing closer to the warmth of his body. 

Harry didn’t have the heart to just leave it there, so he nodded his head decisively and headed back to where he thought the edge of the forest was. 

When his surroundings began to lighten up after a long while of walking, and he could see much better than before, he laughed out loud and sped up even more, eager to get out of the forest. 

The bunny peeked it’s head out of the crook of his elbow to look around for a moment, and promptly burrowed back in. 

Harry finally saw the forest edge and he broke out into a jog, careful not to jostle his charge. 

When he reached the edge he stopped, hidden behind a wide tree. 

He peeked out slowly and looked around, searching for anything suspicious. 

Seeing nothing, he stepped out, still on high alert. He didn’t want to have another conversation with Severus yet, not ready for the tears that would inevitably follow. 

He felt deeply betrayed, and thrown off balance by what he had learned. 

He wanted to be comforted desperately, and usually the first person he would go to would be Severus, but Severus was the cause of his pain. 

This would all be better and easier to deal with if he was on his side. 

He didn’t know what he was going to do without the other.

He trembled remembering how Severus became a completely different person talking about those things. Harry didn’t want to believe that his Severus was that way, and harbored those dark thoughts inside of him, but he supposed everyone had a side to them that only showed in specific circumstances. 

He thought about what he was going to do, and decided that the best course of action was to take care of his sweetheart first, and then… and then other things would happen. He hasn’t decided what things yet, but they will occur. 

He finally reached the doors of the castle and made the quick walk back to his dorm. He hid the bunny in his light jacket, trying to make it look like he was really cold, and crossing his arms over his chest. 

He reached the Slytherin house dorms and paused trying to decide whether he was ready to face Severus or not. 

He bit at his lip and took in a deep breath. He would be brave. He wouldn’t let Severus run him out of his own home. 

He whispered the password, “ _Hypno,"_ and stepped through, eyeing the people in the common room, making sure none of them were small with silky black hair. Seeing no one of the sort, he made his way to his dorm. 

When he stepped inside, he was incredibly relieved to see no sign of anyone. He glanced over at Severus’ bed, and the curtains were drawn back halfway, the blankets and sheets lay haphazardly, very unlike the way they usually were. 

He ignored it, and went to his own bed. He set his bunny on his bed and stepped over to his trunk. Opening it and pulling out his homework and the thin sleeping shirt and shorts he would wear to bed that night. 

He would go down to the dinner that evening and bring back some vegetables for his new companion, hoping that there would be fresh lettuce down there and maybe… carrots? He would also swing by the library afterwards and get a book on bunny care. 

Hopefully the librarian wouldn’t become suspicious. 

He laid himself on his bed covers, drawing his curtains back again. 

Harry set his bunny on his lap and watched as it curled into the juncture of his thighs, snuggling in comfortably. He pet it as he did most of his homework.

When he was done he lifted his arms in a stretch, feeling his bones pop and his muscles relax.

He leaned back against his headboard and stroked the bunnies spine as he spaced out, his eyes unfocusing. 

Harry set the bunny beside him on his other pillow and relaxed even further.

He must have fallen asleep because a while later he was woken up by the sound of his curtains drawing back and a soft gasp. 

The next thing he knew, he was being wrapped up in arms and limbs were entwining around his own. 

At first he cuddled into the feeling, liking the sensation of fingers running through his hair, and a voice murmuring his name over and over again. But then he woke up more from his fuzzy daze and everything came rushing back in. He pushed the body away from him and glared heatedly at Severus. 

“I meant what I said Severus. I don’t want to be anywhere near you,” he whispered harshly and ignored the broken look Severus gave him. 

“Harry, I-I take it back. I don’t believe that anymore.”

Harry looked up hopefully, desperate to believe that, but then he saw Severus’ eyes and that bit of light in his heart dimmed again, and he frowned deeply. 

“I know you’re lying. I don’t like it when people lie to me Severus,” Harry said, tired all of a sudden. Wanting this day to be over. 

He watched as Severus swallowed and his eyes became watery again. 

Harry tried not to reach towards the other. 

Normally he would comfort the other boy, but no. Not anymore. 

He looked away and looked down at his napping bunny, reaching out and running a light hand down it’s tiny body. 

Severus sniffled and leaned in closer, “What’s that?”

“A bunny,” Harry said.

“Where did you get it?”

“The forest,” he said reluctantly. 

“We’re not supposed to have bunnies in the dorms. They're not on the approved list of pets.”

“I don’t care,” Harry turned his body to shield his bunny from the other’s view. He picked it up and cuddled it close to his chest, running his nose along the tip of it’s head. 

He could feel the glare Severus gave it without even having to look. 

“Go away Severus. I don’t want to see you.”

“No.”

“I’m not joking, I’ll hex you in about 10 seconds if you don’t get off my bed.”

Severus stayed put stubbornly, staring at Harry and waiting. 

Harry counted down in his head, and then without warning reached for his wand beside his pillow.

“You asked for it Severus.”

Severus’ eyes widened and he leaped off the bed, across the room and onto his own. He glared from his perch and Harry rolled his eyes at him. Leaning over and drawing his curtain back again. 

He cast a tempus and it was only 5 minutes until dinner was served. 

He set his bunny on his pillow again, and pulled the sheet lightly over its body, leaving its head out and making sure it was loose so it wouldn’t be trapped there. 

He gathered his homework items and got out of bed, ignoring Severus’ dark eyes watching him. 

He put his things in his trunk and patted his pocket to make sure his wand was there. 

Drawing his curtain back to closed, he turned and walked out of the dorm and through the common room. 

He gritted his teeth, annoyed that Severus was following a few feet behind him. 

Apparently he didn’t know what the term _stay away_ meant.

Whatever. 

In the Great Hall he sat away from where he usually did, opting for a tight squeeze between the other first years, ignoring the looks they gave him. 

He caught Lucy’s eye at the end of the table where she was seated with a friend of hers, and mouthed _later_. She nodded back, glancing over at Severus in concern. He was sitting with a group of other first years, some acquaintances of his from classes. 

Harry avoided his heavy gaze and ate his soup carefully, chewing on his bread slowly. 

“What’re you doing sitting up here Potter? What happened to your pet?” Evan Rosier, a very annoying boy he shared a dorm with, asked from beside him. 

"None of your business," Harry said, swallowing a spoonful of thick soup again. 

Evan laughed loudly, and patted Harry hard on the back. 

Harry scooted away from him as much as he could, but only succeeded in pushing up closer to another boy's side. 

He pulled away from them and settled away from both, trying to keep to himself. 

Evan leaned in close again, "I asked you a question Potter, I'd like you to answer it," he whispered in his ear. 

Harry leaned away, shrugging up a shoulder in distaste.

"And I'm going to ask you to _screw off,"_ Harry said, incredibly annoyed by the other. 

He picked up his bowl in cupped hands, and gulped down the rest of the soup. Setting it down, he scanned the food laid out before him, and felt a wave of relief when he saw a plate of vegetables. 

He picked out some lettuce and carrots, as well as a few tomatoes, wondering if it would be enough. Shoving the food into his pockets, he stood up abruptly. He glared down at Evan, daring him to say another word. 

The other boy stared back hatefully, and Harry rolled his eyes, taking a mental note that he'd have to be more cautious around the dorms from now on. 

He walked down the space between the house tables and tried to ignore Severus' eyes as he watched him walk out of the Great Hall. 

~

He lay in his bed that night, the comforting weight of his bunny sleeping on his stomach. 

He felt a hollow ache in his chest. 

He missed Severus. 

Even though he was only five feet away from him, and would come to him instantly, he didn't want him too.

He supposed that he missed the time when he was ignorant to what his friend truly thought. 

A small part of him wished he had never told Severus the truth. Wished he had lied to him and none of this would have happened. 

A tear slipped from his eye and ran down gently into his hair, fluffy and soft from drying it after his shower. 

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, dreading what was to come the next day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> A very sad chapter for me to write:(


	6. Manipulation and timid reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❗TW❗: if needed check end notes for further explanation about creepy dream!

* * *

Harry inhaled and exhaled slowly, relaxing. 

He was floating on a still body of water, looking up at a blue sky, white clouds drifting by. He watched them for a while. 

His mind felt separate from his body, and he felt… peaceful. 

“Harry.”

He turned his head in the water, towards the soft voice that had spoken. 

Severus was there beside him, visible from the shoulders up, eerily still.

“Severus? Why aren’t you swimming?”

The other boy smiled at him, and he seemed to know something he didn’t. 

“Harry, don’t look the snake in the eyes. It won’t hesitate to consume you.”

Harry giggled, “What snake Sev? There’s no snakes here! It’s too nice for snakes! Won’t you look up at the sky with me?”

Severus stared at him, and Harry watched as his pupils broke and the black spread out to cover the white of his eyes.

Harry’s lips parted in surprise, and he tried to turn upright in the water but found that he couldn’t. He looked at his wrists and cried out as he saw that seaweed had twined around them, holding him in place, his ankles tied as well.

“S-Sev,” he cried out, “hold on I’ll help you! Just give me a moment, please just a moment,” he looked over at Severus again and gasped when he saw that the other’s mouth was hanging open, black tar seeping out of it, dripping down his chin and into the water. 

“It’s okay Harry,” Severus smiled, and his teeth were covered in the substance, “I’ll be alright. I just wish you’d listen to me every once in a while,” he tilted his head slightly, as if in confusion, and the black started to drip out of his eyes, a sick replica of tears. 

A sob caught in Harry’s throat and he doubled his efforts, trying to tug himself out of his binds. 

“Just give up Harry. It’s easier that way, don’t you see?” Harry paused and watched in despair as Severus lifted up a wrist, seaweed roped up his arm all the way to his elbow. 

“No Severus! You can't give up, please, I’ll get us both out of here, you’ll see,” Harry said, trembling.

Severus ignored him and began humming a tune under his breath, one that he didn’t recognize. 

Harry inhaled deeply and went completely limp. He lifted his wrist out of the water and moved it towards his face slowly. 

When it was close enough he tore at it easily with his teeth. 

Severus stopped humming. 

With his free hand he ripped the other off his wrist and tipped himself upright. 

“See Severus, we mustn’t give up,” he turned to the other boy, reaching out to help him with his seaweed but paused. 

Severus had tilted his head up to the sky, the tar in his mouth filling it and seeping out of the sides.

Harry looked up as well and saw that the sky had turned an abysmal black, a single green star in the center of it all.

“Oh Harry, it’s already too late,” Severus said in a sweet tone, watching him again.

All of a sudden, Harry felt the seaweed on his ankles twining around further and up his legs rapidly, “Severus, help!” 

He clawed desperately at the water, but realized it was useless and gave up quickly.

Severus kept his eyes on the other, as the vines slowly pulled Harry under. 

When only Harry’s eyes were still above the surface, Severus tilted his head back again and laughed, as he began to sink as well.

~

“No!” Harry woke up with a start, his chest aching for air. 

He took in gasping breaths for a few moments before being able to take in a full breath. 

He sat up straight, leaning against his headboard, and rubbed a hand over his chest.

His dream had been rather… unsettling. He couldn’t help but feel that it was some kind of warning.

He felt something dripping down his face, and he stilled in horror. Reaching up slowly he swiped at his cheek, but when he pulled it away, it was just tears. 

Harry wiped his face with the edge of his blanket, and ran a shaky hand through his hair.

He remembered his bunny then and he looked around his bed. 

To his surprise it was beside him on the other pillow, standing up on its hind legs, it’s front paws in front of it’s chest.

“Bunny, what’s wrong?” he whispered cautiously, confused as to why it was doing that. 

It stared up at him, meeting his gaze straight on, and Harry felt deeply uncomfortable. His heart started beating quickly in his chest, and he got the sudden feeling that he should run, run fast and far away from the tiny animal. 

Fortunately, a moment later the bunny fell back down to all fours and twitched its nose at him. 

The feeling disappeared and his heart beat slowed down.

Harry laid a hand on it’s head and let it run all the way down its body. 

“I should give you a name bunny, but I’m not sure if you’re a boy or a girl,” Harry thought for a moment before smiling, “I’ll call you Clover, is that good?” Clover stared up at him, their nose twitching again.

Harry looked down at them for a moment more before leaning back. 

He didn’t know what he was going to do about the Lucius situation. Or the Severus situation. Or the dream situation. 

He couldn’t just let Severus take his place in all this; who knows how it would affect the other boy to lay out his life story to a bunch of other children. And Lucius didn’t seem like the type to give up. 

Harry bit his bottom lip before throwing off his blanket decisively and began getting ready for the day, he’d have to contemplate his mess of a life later. 

~

Harry’d finished feeding Clover, and had set up a temporary play pen for them next to his bed (where they hopped about happily, chasing a small ball Harry had charmed to roll around). 

He was just about to slip on his boots when Severus’ bed curtain drew back. 

The other sat up on the edge of his bed and ran a hand over his sleepy face. 

Harry observed Severus silently, a feeling of sadness rising in his chest. 

Severus looked miserable, and his hair was a mess, nothing like its usual silkiness. Harry pushed down guilt as he realized that Severus must have skipped his nightly routine of brushing his hair until it shined. 

He used to think the other was rather vain for doing that, but after a few weeks of running his fingers through it, he changed his mind. Recently, Harry had even begun doing it for him, after he’d complained of his arms being sore. 

“Good morning,” Severus said hoarsely. 

“G’morning,” Harry said back. 

He tugged on his boots, and stooped down to pick up his heavy school bag. He swung it over his shoulder and was about to leave when Severus spoke again. 

“Are… are you still upset with me Harry?” he asked hesitantly. 

Harry looked over at the other and felt a pang in his chest. 

Severus looked pitiful sitting there, a smaller version of himself. Usually he’d take up a room with an aura that demanded attention, one that Harry admired endlessly. 

He was almost afraid of this Severus, he reminded him so much of the one during the summer, when his father was alive. 

Harry felt his resolve break and he rushed over to the other, sitting beside him. He resisted holding him, and when Severus looked over at him with hopeful eyes, he shook his head minutely, “In a moment.” 

Severus’ bottom lip trembled and he shuffled closer to Harry, careful not to touch.

Harry listened closely for a few moments, and when he determined the other three boys in the room were still asleep, he spoke quietly.

“It’s not that I’m angry with you. I'm just frustrated. I can see where you’re coming from and why you feel the way you do about certain things but that doesn’t make it right," he glanced over at Severus, then continued, 

"Sev, your father was horrible and I don’t regret… you know, but he isn’t an example of all muggles. There are bad muggles and there are good ones, just the same as magical people. Grindelwald was awful, but just like you said yesterday, there are lots of kind witches and wizards, and he doesn’t sum up all of us. We can’t take one experience and apply it to an entire group of people.” 

Severus furrowed his brows in thought, before nodding his head slightly.

“I- I see, but I still think that magical children should be separated from muggles,” he said. 

“I do understand your worries about possible abuse, but what about the children who don’t have abusive parents? I think that it would be more traumatic for them to be separated from their parents. You’re on the right track, but you need a different mindset. What if instead, a witch or wizard checked up on the child once a month, to see how they were doing? To try and prevent what happened to us? And I've heard they have spells that can do more in depth checks, in case they’re being lied to. They could also have someone talk to muggle parents, and inform them on what’s happening to their children and how to deal with situations of accidental magic.” 

Severus chewed on his lip in thought, before nodding in agreement. 

Harry continued,

"Another thing I'm frustrated by, is that you think muggles and muggleborns are below us. That's not okay Severus. Muggleborns have the same magic as purebloods and halfbloods, it doesn't become watered down, or less powerful. And just because they don't have magical ancestors doesn't make them less. And muggles also aren't less because they don't have magic."

Severus nodded, and opened his mouth to speak, but Harry beat him to it, 

“And… I have one more thing to add. I’m sorry for running off yesterday and overreacting; I should have stayed and explained why I was angry. I thought more about what you said, and I realized that I wasn’t fair to you, and I should have heard you out. I can see now that you were worried about other magical children being abused by muggles like we were, and that you hadn’t been taught any differently that blood purity isn’t right. I’ll try not to do it again, and I hope you’ll forgive me Severus.” 

He folded his hands in his lap to hide their nervous shaking.

He waited anxiously for a few moments, and just when he was going to risk a peek up, a body barrelled into his own and made him fall back against the bed. 

Severus wrapped his limbs around him and buried his face in the dip of Harry’s neck. 

He was reminded of the day in the woods months ago. 

Severus clung to him, trembling. 

“I forgive you, but don’t ever leave me alone again Harry, please don’t. I couldn’t stand being apart from you,” he said quietly, a bit muffled from where he was pressed into Harry’s neck. 

He shifted until he could hold Severus more tightly to himself. 

He closed his eyes and turned his head, pressing his face to the other’s hair. 

“Neither could I Severus, I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

~

Harry was walking to the library from History of Magic, planning on starting up on his homework, and he could already feel a headache forming. 

He was rubbing his temple trying to dispel some of the pain when he felt a hand clamp around his forearm and yank him off his path into a small hidden alcove. 

He yelped out in surprise and recoiled when he saw that it was Lucius who had pulled him there. 

They were a foot apart and the teen was looking down at him, his nose wrinkled in disgust. 

"I'm becoming impatient with you Harry. I've noticed that you haven't begun your task, may I ask why that is?" 

Harry got the feeling that he didn't have a choice in answering or not. 

He look down at his boots in faux meekness and thought desperately for an excuse. 

"Um, well, you see, I haven't been able to yet because I've been trying to gather my thoughts and figure out the best way to tell my story. To make the most impact on the other years that is," he said in a rush, a bit proud of his lie. 

Lucius stared down his perfect nose at Harry, piercing him with his gaze. 

He placed one large hand on Harry's small shoulder and squeezed it gently. 

His voice lowered to a hush, 

"I want you to do it soon Harry. We wouldn't want anything… untoward happening, would we?" he smiled at him. 

His eyes held no light, and Harry felt like he was a moment away from being attacked.

He nodded hurriedly, "Of course not Lucius, I'll get to it as soon as possible," he said weakly. 

Lucius gave his shoulder one last squeeze before stepping away and leaving the hidden place. 

Harry let out a huge breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding in.

He smoothed his hands down his shirt, and stepped out as well. 

Harry glanced both ways for the other, but he was gone, as quickly as he had appeared. 

~

He decided to take action. Instead of going to the library, he took a detour to the headmasters office. 

There was no way in hell he was going to go through with Lucius' plan, so might as well try to get help… and if he didn't receive it and got in trouble instead, it'd be the same outcome either way. 

He would take all the blame, he didn’t want Severus to be thrown into this mess as well. 

He shuddered thinking about all he had heard of Azkaban. That’s where he’d go of course, he’d rather suffer terribly in prison then go back to the Dursley’s. 

One of the prefect’s had mentioned the location of the headmaster’s office at the beginning of the year, and he hoped that his memory was accurate. 

When he finally saw a statue of a large gargoyle, he stood in front of it, wondering how to reach the office. He decided to just ask.

“I’m Harry Potter, and I was wondering if I could speak to Headmaster Dumbledore?” he said to the stone statue, feeling rather silly.

"It's important," he added on as an afterthought. 

He waited for a moment, and when nothing happened he had resigned himself to heading to the library and sulking over his homework. 

He’d just turned around to leave when he heard the sound of scraping. When he whipped his head back, an entrance had been revealed with a twisting staircase leading up. 

He frowned and stepped over quickly, feeling nervous again. 

He tipped his head in thanks to the statue and made his way up the twisting steps. 

When he reached the top he knocked on one side of a wooden double door. 

Harry heard a deep call of, “Come in,” before pushing open the door. 

The room was full of odds and ends and Harry didn't know what to look at first. 

But he was here on business so he kept his head down.

Headmaster Dumbledore sat in a large chair behind a desk equally filled with odd things. 

Harry ignored all of them as he walked across the room and sunk into a small chair across from the headmaster. 

Dumbledore looked at Harry, as if waiting for him to speak. When Harry just stared back, he sighed and leaned back in his seat, folding his hands over his stomach.

“What brings you here m’boy?”

Harry hesitated, tapping his fingers on his knee. 

“I’m here to turn myself in,” he said, looking down at his boots so as not to see the man's reaction.

"Turn yourself in for what?” 

Harry bit at the inside of his cheek before glancing up, “I killed a muggle," he said, barely above a whisper.

When he was met with silence he lifted his gaze fully, trying to gauge the other’s reaction. 

The headmaster looked taken aback before nodding for him to go on. 

“I-I did it on purpose. He was abusing my friend and I couldn’t let it go on anymore. So I poisoned him with oleander leaves. And I don’t regret it. Not even a bit,” he said, wanting to tell the full truth. 

Dumbledore looked away from him, turning his gaze to a tiny replica of a ship that hovered over the desk bobbing about as if on water. 

“I see. Is there anything else you would like to tell me Harry?” 

Harry watched Dumbledore closely, wondering if the man was reading his mind like Lucius had on the train. Severus had told him that powerful wizards could be trained in the art, and the headmaster seemed like a powerful wizard… 

He decided to tell him the truth again, no use in lying if he already knew. 

“Yes. Lucius Malfoy found out about what I did and is using it as blackmail. He wants me to tell the other Slytherin’s about how I was abused by the muggles I live with, to make them angry and more likely to agree with his Lord's agenda.”

“Abused?”

Harry nodded sharply, “My Auntie Petunia and Uncle Vernon aren’t very nice people.”

The headmaster stayed silent, rubbing a thumb over a small glass ball in his palm. 

“It was very brave of you to tell me about what you did Harry. Although I wish you would have said something sooner.” 

Harry didn't know what to say, so he just nodded. 

He'd expected to be in cuffs by now so he wasn't sure how to proceed. 

Thankfully, the headmaster spoke again.

“I’d like you to tell me about what Lucius wants you to do. Could you go into more detail Harry?” 

Harry hesitated before explaining what Lucius had told him that night in the classroom, careful not to say anything about Severus. 

Dumbledore made little hums of affirmation every now and then and tilted his head in thought every so often. 

“A powerful wizard? And he didn’t mention a name at all?” Harry looked down at his hands in his lap, wracking his brain. Eventually he said quietly, “No, none sir, just that he was more powerful than Grindelwald.”

Dumbledore sat upright in his chair, adjusting his small glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. 

"Well Harry. You've gotten yourself into quite the conundrum. But fortunately for you, I think I can find a way to fix it." 

Harry furrowed his brows, confused. 

"What do you mean sir? Aren't I in trouble?" 

"No, I've decided that it'd be better if we kept this between us, can you do that Harry?" 

He felt out of his depth. He didn't know what the headmaster was talking about… did he mean Harry murdering someone was to be kept between them? Shouldn't that garner a bit more attention?

He nodded his head in agreement slowly, hoping he understood correctly. 

Dumbledore gave him a small smile, and Harry felt a grandfatherly warmth coming from the man. 

Then he spoke again and it was gone.

"Now this might be too much to expect from a first year, but I'd like you to accept Lucius' offer," he said. 

Harry blinked, confusion coming over him in a wave. 

"Sir?" 

"I want you to go along with Lucius' plan. I believe that I know who his Lord is, but it's been difficult getting any information on him without a person on the inside. You'd be helping me greatly if you'd be my… inside man, I suppose is the best term. I could assist you with any future tasks Lucius gave you, and you could help me by giving me any information you may find out. Will you help me Harry?" 

Harry stared at the other with his eyes wide open, lips parted in shock. 

This was eerily similar to what Lucius had done to him just a few nights ago. But he'd never expected it from the headmaster!

He thought over the offer for a moment. It seemed alright, but he wasn't getting anything out of this agreement.

"I suppose. But does this mean that-," he looked pointedly at the headmaster. 

Dumbledore raised his brows at him, waiting for him to go on, before understanding dawned on his face. 

He waved his hand in front of him, "Of course, of course. I can understand why you did it Harry. It was an act of self defense. Or… an act of defending another innocent child. But I think it could be kept just between us, as you are still only eleven. Don't you think?" 

Harry narrowed his eyes suspiciously, feeling as if he was being played for a fool. But he didn't know in what exact way, so he had to brush it aside for now. 

"Yes Headmaster."

"Good," he said, a twinkle in his pale blue eyes. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The TW: harry has a dream in the beginning of the chapter, severus has tar dripping out of his mouth and eyes. That part ends at the tilda.  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Hello!  
> Recently I haven't been feeling confident about this work:/ I've just been doubting myself at every paragraph, and wondering if it sucks or if the pacing is off:( any constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated!  
> Sorry for the ramble😬
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter; a small glimpse of manipulative Dumbledore, and reconciliation with Severus!!! I couldn't keep them apart for long, it was too sad:'(


	7. Picnic for two

* * *

“Let’s have a picnic Sev.”

Severus looked up from the book in his lap in surprise. 

“Picnic?”

“Yeah, we haven’t had one since summer. I miss them,” Harry pouted.

“Well, I’m not opposed, but isn’t it too cold outside?”

Harry glanced out the window in the window seat he and Severus were sharing, and watched robes whip around the few students outside who had decided to brave the cold. 

“I suppose you’re right. We could have an indoor one?” 

Severus shifted and set his chin on his knee, thinking thoughtfully for a moment. 

“Where would we get the food?”

“We could get some from lunch and eat somewhere else.”

“Just us?”

Harry nodded quickly and felt warm at the grin that lit up Severus’ face. 

He didn’t see it often anymore. 

It’d been weeks since they’d reconciled and Sev still walked on eggshells around Harry. He couldn’t blame him really. 

Harry had been ruminating over the situation for awhile now, and he’d come to the conclusion that he’d made Severus feel insecure around him. 

Something that he had been afraid of doing since their first week of friendship.

He hoped it wouldn’t become his life's greatest regret, alienating the first friend he'd ever made. 

~

They’d managed to find an abandoned classroom on the second floor. It was empty save for a table, four chairs stacked against a wall, and a large, full length mirror, covered in a dusty old sheet in the corner. 

The room had large windows that overlooked the grounds. 

If it hadn't been such dreary weather, Harry was sure the view would have been magnificent. 

While Harry waited for Severus to come back with the food, he laid a blanket out on the ground, in front of the window, casting a cushioning charm on it. 

When he sat down cross legged, Severus finally walked in, carrying a bag with an extension charm on it. Miss Snape had sent it by owl the month before, after Severus had complained about how heavy his school bag was.

He smiled at Harry and set it on the ground, beginning to lay out the food on two plates. 

He took out all of Harry’s favorite food and he felt shy that Severus had noticed, even shyer that he'd remembered. 

“I didn’t know you knew my favorites,” he said watching Severus’ slender fingers arrange the food carefully, wondering if he realized he was organizing it by category. 

A pink blush appeared on Sev’s cheeks, the tips of his ears turning red, and his hands pausing momentarily. 

The other boy coughed slightly, “Well of course. You’ve done the same for me.”

Harry felt himself begin to blush as well as he realized he had. 

Severus hated cheese but made an exception for brie with a spoon of jam. He loved mashed potatoes but wouldn’t touch the roasted ones. 

He wrinkled his nose at coffee but drank hot chocolate like it was water. 

Severus liked his eggs without the whites, and he only ate them alongside butter and bread. He had his tea with a dash of milk, and about a kilos worth of sugar. 

He drank the broth of his soup first, saving the solids for last, he closed his eyes when he drank pumpkin juice, and puckered his lips afterwards. 

Merlin… he felt dumbstruck… and sort of foolish for not realizing before... Severus was the first person he’d ever loved. 

Harry blinked hard against the stinging in his eyes, and looked up at Severus, horribly endeared, “How could I not, you heathen. You can’t even call your tea, “tea” anymore, what with all the sugar you put in it.”

Severus glared at him and stuck his tongue out before sitting down, finally satisfied with his artistic arrangement. 

“Yes, well, I’m not the one who eats their pancakes plain like an animal.”

Harry reeled back, almost falling over, scandalized, “You know I don’t like too many sweets in the morning Sev!” 

Severus laughed, “You’re probably the only person in all of Hogwarts who does that,” he said as he nudged Harry’s plate towards him, wanting him to eat. 

Harry humphed and began to eat, realizing belatedly that he was absolutely famished, having skipped breakfast to sleep in. 

They finished their meal in silence, Harry making hums of approval every once in a while. 

When he was done, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small journal. 

Headmaster Dumbledore had given it to him the day they met, suggesting that he start writing his thoughts down, instead of letting them run wild in his head all the time. He had said that it’d been spelled to only reveal it’s contents to the eyes of the writer, and that it’d become a blank page to anyone else. 

The practice had become soothing to Harry, and he found himself writing about his day at night, cuddled in his bed with Clover by his side. 

He’d write down what had happened that day, or any persistent thoughts on his mind. 

The night before, he’d written about his worries of Lucius, and this is the page he turned too. 

Severus looked over, curious at the sound of crinkling pages and raised his brows at Harry, “You have a diary?”

Harry scrunched his nose in thought… could it be considered a diary? 

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and the headmaster told me it’d be better to write them down," he said, setting his journal down beside him.

“The headmaster? When’d you talk to the headmaster?”

“A few weeks ago. I went to his office to tell him about-,” Harry paused, wondering if it’d be a good idea to tell Severus. He felt a pang in his chest at the thought of keeping something from the other, potentially causing another rift.

“I told him about the Lucius thing… and the thing about your da,” Severus’ lips parted in surprise and Harry hurried to finish, “but don’t worry, I didn’t mention you had anything to do with it.”

Severus seemed to become even more shocked at that, and he pushed his plate aside, scooting himself close to Harry, knees pressed against his. 

“Harry! Why would you do that?!” 

Harry furrowed his brows, confused, “What do you mean?”

Severus took Harry’s hands in his own, practically engulfing them (when’d he get bigger? And why was Harry still the same?), “You didn’t get in trouble?” he asked worriedly.

“No, surprisingly. Lucius had cornered me about his plan again, and I didn’t want to do it, so I decided to just turn myself in. I spoke to the headmaster and he told me to agree with it and follow along.”

Severus stared, stunned, “Go along? Why would he ask you to do that? You can’t do it Harry, it could be dangerous,” he said, then more determinedly, “No way. You’re not doing that.” 

Harry pulled his hands out of the other’s hold, “Why not? Dumbledore said that he’ll keep what I did between me and him, and that if I go along with Lucius’ tasks, then I’ll be helping him out a lot. I mean, it’s the least I could do Severus! He could have sent me off to Azkaban instead but he didn’t,” Harry insisted, trying to emphasize why he had to agree.

Severus frowned deeply, and Harry hardly noticed the other taking his hands in his own again, setting them in his lap.

“I just feel like this could be really dangerous, or end badly. What if Lucius’ tasks get worse, or he has you do something… terrible, will you still do it?”

“No Sev, I have my limits. Plus the headmaster said he’ll help me with the tasks. He thinks he knows who Lucius’ Lord is and so that’s why he wants me to be his inside man, as I’m technically already in.”

Severus bit his bottom lip, anxiety clear in his face. He played with Harry’s fingers as he thought, his head nodding every now and then as if responding to an internal dialogue. 

He finally spoke a minute later, “I’d like to help you. I can be sort of like a hidden pawn. You should always have something up your sleeve when it comes to things like this.”

“I don’t know Sev, I don’t want you to be in any danger,” Severus looked at him, his eyes narrowing, “Harry, you’d better let me help or I’ll let Lucy know what you really thought of her pudding.” 

Harry felt his eyes widen, “You wouldn’t! I don’t want her to feel bad!”

The pudding had been nausea inducing, and it'd taken all of his acting skills to not show it, but Harry would rather suffer a terrible fate then hurt the girl’s feelings. She was so sweet and had never done anything wrong in her entire life. 

“Alright,” he began reluctantly, ignoring Severus’ smug face, “but we need to keep your involvement top secret. I’ll try not to make eye contact with Lucius or the headmaster, but you have to remember to as well.” Severus nodded in agreement easily, and squeezed Harry’s hands in his own, leaning over and resting his head on the other’s shoulder. 

Harry sighed softly, leaning his head on Severus’ and looking out the window. 

It had begun to rain and raindrops pattered against the glass, filling the room with soft noise. 

He closed his eyes, and tried to bask in the moment, glad to have his Severus back, hoping to be this close always. 

~

Harry had been pleasantly surprised to see Severus leaning against the wall in front of Professor Binns' room, classes having ended for the day. 

“Funny seeing you here,” Harry laughed as he sidled up to the other. Severus beamed and took Harry’s bag from him, crossing it over his own body. 

Harry realized for the first time, as Severus stood up from his lean and to his full height, that the other had grown at least 10 centimeters since the beginning of the school year!

He pursed his lips, unconsciously straightening his posture even more. 

Well he’d just have to see about that. Harry was sure that one day, soon, _he’d_ be the tall one, towering over the others in their year. _He’d_ be the one people would have to crane their neck up to see. 

No more would others rest their heads on top of his! No! One day _he_ would do that to _them._

But for now he walked beside Severus, happily wrapping his arm around the other’s waist comfortably, pressing flush to his side.

~

When they reached the common room, Harry and Severus strolled through, headed back to their dorm to lounge before dinner, when they heard the dreaded voice of Lucius Malfoy. 

Up until this point Harry had done a great job of avoiding the other at every turn, hiding in alcoves, stepping behind older years in the hallways, even wearing a hat over his head to hide his curls. 

But today he’d been too busy talking to Severus to remember to do a cursory check of the common room before walking in. 

“Harry! Come sit by us, it’s been a while,” Lucius called from across the room. He sat on a long couch near the fireplace, the flames flickering shadows across his face. A slender blonde girl was by his side, and she looked regal sitting there, like she belonged on a throne somewhere. 

He felt Severus pull him closer to his side, and Harry reluctantly walked across the room and sat on the couch with the other two. 

“How are we supposed to have a conversation with you all the way over there?” Harry didn’t respond, leaning his weight back on Severus and tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.

Lucius sighed and reached out, pulling Harry closer to himself easily and away from Severus. 

Harry was stunned at the action and tried to pull away but Lucius had a firm grip on his arm. Harry was careful not to look up, but he could feel the heat of the other’s glare on his face. 

Harry glanced over at Severus who looked positively scandalized sitting at the end of the couch, and Harry gestured to him to come closer with a slight tilt of his head. 

“So Harry, it’s been a while since our last chat. Things have been going well I presume?”

Harry cleared his throat slightly, relaxing a bit more when Severus sat himself squished to his side, arm wrapping around his waist and subtly pulling his body back to the other boy.

Harry peeked over at the girl and Lucius caught his glance and smirked, “This is my darling Narcissa,” he said and pulled up their interlaced fingers pressing a kiss to the back of Narcissa’s hand. Harry felt his jaw drop and Severus stiffen beside him. 

He snapped his mouth shut with a click, smiling shyly at the girl. He hadn't known that Lucius had a single bone in his body that wasn’t dedicated to evil and manipulation. 

“It’s nice to meet you Narcissa, I’m Harry and this is Severus,” he said nodding towards the other boy. 

Severus gave her a cold smile and tilted his head in greeting. 

Lucius shifted in his seat, wrapping an arm around Narcissa’s narrow shoulders, and turned to Harry again. 

“You didn’t answer my question Harry.”

Harry gulped, “It’s been going… well, Lucius, I’ve mentioned it to a few people and they’ve all been shocked and angered. I want to tell only a few at a time, as it would look suspicious if I told groups,” this wasn’t a lie.

He had carefully crafted a story with the headmaster's help. It was a very shocking tale and he’d woven a few truths in there as well, so as not to make it too unrealistic. 

Lucius nodded in satisfaction, “It’s good to know that you’re smarter than I thought you were. I had assumed that I would have to take further action soon,” he said with a chuckle, and Harry forced a small giggle, feeling sick. He didn’t want to know Lucius’ idea of further action. 

Severus tightened his grip on his waist and he felt safer knowing the other was there. 

“So Harry, Severus, how old are you two?” Narcissa asked. 

“Eleven,” Severus answered for the both of them, Harry nodding, "but I'll be twelve in less than a month."

“Oh Luc, they’re practically babies,” she laughed coldly, and Harry watched as the couple exchanged a stare and he could practically feel the air in the room turn thick and suffocating. 

“I think it depends on your perspective love, when I was their age I was already in training to be…” he didn’t continue but Harry assumed that Narcissa had gotten whatever message he had sent. 

She gave Harry and Severus a thin smile, before excusing herself and going off to the girl’s dorms. 

Lucius glanced down at Harry, and without even a goodbye, left as well, leaving Slytherin house entirely.

They exchanged a look, and Severus got up, holding out a hand for Harry to grasp. 

~

“I wonder what that was all about,” Harry murmured as they got back to their dorm at last, empty save for Clover. 

“I don’t know, perhaps an old argument?” Severus said, walking over to Clover’s playpen and reaching in to pick them up. 

Over the past few weeks, Severus had taken a liking to Clover, holding them whenever they were in the dorm. Clover loved to crawl under his shirt and sleep on Severus’ stomach. 

Harry always felt a wave of affection for the two whenever he got back from classes and saw Severus napping with a little bump beneath his shirt. 

Harry hummed in agreement and took his school bag from Severus setting it down beside his bed. 

He flung himself onto his bed, rolling around for a moment before stilling on his stomach. 

He glanced over at Severus and watched as the boy held Clover on his lap, feeding them a leaf of lettuce that he had produced from who knows where. 

“I didn’t know that Lucius had someone to love. Or that someone could love Lucius,” Harry mumbled, and Severus laughed, scrunching his nose at Harry. 

“Anyone can love Harry, it just depends on whether you have the courage to do so.”

“Courage?”

“Yeah, don’t you think so?” he asked as he ran a hand down Clover’s back, “I’ve always admired those who had the courage to confess, and those really old couples who look so in love. The ones who had the courage to stay through all the hard times.” 

“It sounds like you’ve thought about that for a while,” Harry smiled, endeared, turning to lay on his back, looking up at the stone ceiling. 

Severus sighed, “No not really, just a few months.”

“Oh?” Harry turned his head to look at Severus. 

The other boy coughed slightly, tugging on a lock of his hair, “So, what do you think love is Harry?” 

Harry blushed, looking up again, fidgeting with his fingers on his stomach. 

“Well, I’m not very experienced in it, but I think love is… when that’s the person you feel safest with. The one you want to be with forever. Someone you know inside and out. It doesn't always have to be romantic but it fills you up all the same,” Harry looked over at Severus, feeling his face blush hotly, and his eyes widened in surprise when the other boy sat there in a daze, his hand laid still on Clover's back. 

"Sev?" 

Severus shook his head as if too clear his thoughts then looked at Harry with a determined expression. 

"Have you ever felt like that before Harry? For anyone?" 

Harry tilted his head as if in thought, although it was an act, he already knew he had. 

But there was no way he was telling Severus that!

"Maybe," he smiled shyly, and tapped his fingers on his stomach, folding one leg up and crossing the other over the knee.

"Who?" Severus asked, and all of a sudden he was right beside Harry, crawling onto his bed and lying down on his back next to him. 

"It's a secret Sev," Harry grinned, turning on his side to face the other. 

"Please tell me Harry," he pouted, and Harry shook his head firmly, "No, sometimes I have to keep some things to myself." 

Severus huffed, crossing his arms, "I barely keep things from you," he said and Harry felt his curiosity peak; he lifted himself onto one elbow, looking down at Severus from the angle. 

"Barely?" he said, raising a brow, "What've you been keeping from me Severus?" he asked, leaning a bit closer. 

He hadn't even known Severus had the capability to keep a secret from him.

Severus stuck his tongue out at him and closed his eyes, turning his head away. 

"No way am I telling you, if you can keep a secret so can I." 

Harry grumbled but laid back down next to the other. 

He took one of Severus' hands and interlaced their fingers, laying their joined hands on his stomach. 

"It's okay Sev, I'll tell you my secret one day, and I expect that you'll be properly shocked."

Severus rolled his eyes, but let Harry play with his fingers, nodding along when Harry began to ramble about how his day had gone.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello😼  
> I finished writing this early, and was too impatient to wait until Tuesday, so here we are.
> 
> I hope you liked reading about Severus and Harry bonding more:,) I finally noticed that I haven't written any cute stuff about them lately!!!!!
> 
> Bye for now, thank you for reading and let me know what you thought!!(if u want:] ) <3


	8. Snow Angels

* * *

Harry leaned back in his chair, twirling a lock of hair around his finger. 

Snow fell gently outside the library window, and he wondered if it was too early to build a snowman. 

~

He peeked out of the kitchen window, hidden behind the curtain there.

He’d been watching Dudley play with his friends for hours now. They’d had snowball fights and had made horrid looking snowmen, their cheeks and noses ruddy from the cold. Soon Auntie Petunia would call them in to have hot chocolate with little marshmallows, and gingerbread men still hot from the oven.

Harry wasn’t allowed to have any. Auntie Petunia said bad little boys didn’t deserve sweets and Harry was a bad little boy.

Although she’d been saying that since he was three years old, he didn’t quite understand what made him a bad boy and not Dudley. Dudley who pushed him down on the sidewalk on the way too school. Made a mess and blamed Harry. Laughed when he cried and hit him when he spoke. 

He bit at his bottom lip and crumpled the bottom of his too big shirt in his fists. 

He didn’t dare ask Dudley if he could play as well, the memory of the last time he had asked still fresh in his mind. A lesson he wouldn’t soon forget. He rubbed at the fading bruise on his tummy absentmindedly, watching as Dudley stuck three small rocks down the snowman's middle. 

~

“So Harry, are you going to stay with Severus during winter hols?” Alexei spoke, startling him out of his thoughts. 

“No, I haven’t asked, and I don’t think I will. I’m going to stay at the castle with Lucy, keep her company,” he said. 

Alexei furrowed his brows, “Not that that isn’t a good idea, but why haven’t you asked Severus?”

Harry ran a finger down the seam of his book, tapping his fingers when he got to the edge. 

“No reason really,” Harry smiled softly at the other boy. 

The truth was, he didn’t want to impose on the Snapes. He knew that if he asked Severus, he would say yes immediately, even if he didn’t really want him to come. Sev hadn’t seen his mum in so long and Harry felt like he would be in the way, intruding on their small amount of time together. 

He also didn’t want to risk seeing the Dursleys. Although that was the least of his worries at the moment. 

“What will you be doing Alexei? Travelling anywhere?” 

“Probably going to go visit my brother at the dragon reserve in Romania. He doesn’t like to go far from the dragons, always worried that they’ll need him for some reason or another,” he said fondly with a roll of his eyes. 

“Bring me back a dragon egg won't you?" Harry smiled, only half joking. 

Alexei scrunched his nose at him, “I’d rather not get mauled thank you very much.” 

He tilted his head in thought, “By my brother I mean. He’s more protective of the eggs than the mothers themselves.”

Harry giggled and had an intrusive thought of an older version of Alexei, guarding a pile of huge speckled eggs, dragon wings unfurling behind his back. 

“That reminds me, where’s Severus Harry?”

Harry raised a brow in confusion, “How’d that remind you of Severus?”

“Oh you know, you're the egg, he’s my brother in that scenario,” he waved his hand nonchalantly as if to brush the topic aside. 

Harry pursed his lips, still utterly confused but moving on, “I’m not sure where he is. He told me he was going somewhere this morning but I was half asleep when he said it. Something about an owlery?”

“Ah, he’s gone to visit the owls,” at Harry’s questioning look he elaborated, “you know, all the student's owls have to stay somewhere. They need free reign of coming and going for hunting and delivering and all that.”

“But Sev doesn’t have an owl.”

“He’s probably borrowing a school owl. Or maybe intercepting a package? One of my dormmates did that for his girlfriend. He got her a christmas gift but didn’t want her to see his owl delivering it during breakfast. He went down to the owlery yesterday to get it.” 

Harry narrowed his eyes in thought. Who could Severus be getting a present for? He’d never seen him talk to any girls other than… Lucy! 

“Merlin, Severus has a crush on Lucy!” Harry said, sitting up straight in his chair. 

Alexei squinted his eyes in confusion at Harry, “Huh?”

“Of course, why didn’t I see it before?” He stood up from his seat abruptly, beginning to pace beside their table. 

“He always laughs at her jokes, and this one time he told her he liked her spellwork in Charms!” 

Alexei watched Harry pace, shaking his head slowly. This was just like something off of the telly. In fact, Alexei was sure he’d seen this exact plot on the soap opera his mum watched every Sunday. He should wrap his gift for her tonight; a nice new set of hair clips, with green gems all along the sides. 

“And you know what else? Last week I saw them playing chess together! It was a date, I can’t believe I didn’t notice! And another thing-,” 

“Harry,” Alexei interrupted, “we were both there as well remember? We were playing a tournament? You and Severus were holding hands the whole time?”

Harry whipped his head to look at Alexei, his eyes widening in horror. 

He brought his hand to his mouth, “Oh my… you don’t think… that perhaps,” Alexei leaned forward, waiting with bated breath, “Severus wanted to show Lucy that he was open to physical affection, and that she was welcome to hold his hand any time? But since I was there first, she didn’t want to be rude and ask me to move?” 

Alexei tilted his head back, letting out a deep, world weary sigh. 

~

Harry walked back to the dorms slowly, school bag dragging behind him, deep in thought. 

He felt terrible for blocking Severus and Lucy from being together. 

Now that he thought about it, he really was taking up all of Sev’s time. How selfish of him! And to think… all this time, they could have been a happy new couple. 

They really would make a great pair, what with Severus and his dark eyes, and Lucy with bright blue ones. And their… well they matched perfectly intellectually! Severus would surely never be bored, Lucy always had something interesting to talk about. 

Harry smiled to himself, his heart practically bursting with happiness for his friend. Although, he couldn’t help but wonder if this meant that he and Severus would spend much less time together. 

He frowned but then shook his head quickly, _No Harry, you mustn't be selfish. Severus will be too busy spending time with his girlfriend to coddle you._

He bumped into something hard and fell back on his bottom, wincing in pain. He looked up and was relieved to see that he had finally made it to the Slytherin dorms. 

He stood and whispered the password, swinging his bag over his shoulder. He gave the common room a quick check before practically sprinting to his dorm, almost running over another first year on his way. 

He burst into his dorm but almost immediately reeled back at the sight of Evan Rosier. 

Harry swallowed down an annoyed sound, his mood deflating even more. 

Evan was looking down at Clover, watching them with his creepy beady eyes. 

“You’re not allowed to keep a rabbit in the dorms Potter.”

“Dumbledore gave me special permission as it’s my childhood pet and I can’t live anywhere without them,” he lied through his teeth. 

Evan rolled his eyes, standing up straight. 

“Whatever. I’d like a word with you.”

Harry stilled, looking up at Evan through his bangs. He should really get a haircut soon, his hair was getting rather long. 

“Why’ve you been lying to everyone about your muggles beating you?”

Harry startled, taken aback, “What’re you going on about?” he said quietly, trying to hide the shaky tone of his voice. 

Evan sneered at him, crossing his arms and stepping closer. 

“Why is Abbot crying in the common room then? And about half of the other Slytherin girls?” 

Harry tapped his boot against the stone floor, trying to think. He hadn't known rumors would spread so quickly, hadn’t expected people to _cry._ He’d have to report back to Dumbledore soon, maybe when everyone was gone the next day. 

“I only told a few people about that, I don’t see how it’s my fault they talked about it behind my back.”

Evan walked closer until he was right in front of Harry. 

He was used to tilting his head back when people were trying to intimidate him, but Evan was just as short as Harry, maybe a centimeter or two taller. 

They met eye to eye and Evan snarled at him, “It _is_ your fault because I know you’ve been lying.”

“How would you know that? Have you lived my life Rosier?”

“I don’t much care about your life _or_ you Potter. I want you to fix it. I can’t even pay attention to my games down there without some annoying sniffling interrupting my train of thought!” 

Harry rolled his eyes and was just about to give Evan a piece of his mind when the door opened knocking right into Harry. It sent him flying onto Evan, making them both crash to the hard floor, Harry sprawled over the other. 

His landing was cushioned but he couldn’t say the same for the other as he groaned loudly, rubbing the back of his head with one hand and trying to shove Harry off of him with the other. 

“Harry! Are you okay?”

Someone tugged him up off the ground and tucked him up against a warm body, an arm wrapping protectively around his waist. He glanced up and saw Severus looking down at him, his eyes bright with worry. 

“I’m alright, Rosier blocked my fall.”

“Bloody hell Potter, I think you kneed me in my crotch,” the boy moaned, on his side now, a hand at the back of his head and the other at his… crotch. 

Harry pursed his lips in distaste, “It’s what you deserve you berk. You shouldn’t have been so close to me in the first place, then maybe you wouldn’t be down on the ground like that.”

Evan groaned louder, making no move to get up. Harry rested his head on Severus’ shoulder waiting for the boy to stop moaning so he could get another word in. 

“If you still have complaints go talk to Lucius. Ask him why I’m lying and I’m sure you’ll both have a nice chat.”

Evan glared up at him before finally peeling himself off the ground, injuries apparently forgotten. He took a threatening step towards Harry but backed away almost immediately, a spooked look coming over his face. 

“A-alright, sounds like a plan,” he smiled shakily and rushed around Harry and Severus, almost crashing into the door again. Harry stared after him, lips parted in surprise. He looked back up at Severus, confused. 

Severus smiled down at him, “What was that all about?” 

“He’s just annoyed that people are crying in the common room about my riveting tale. Said he can’t focus on his games." 

Severus snorted softly, squeezing his arm around Harry’s waist once more before stepping away. 

Harry gave him a once over and was about to ask why Severus had damp spots on the shoulders of his robes, but then he remembered his talk with Alexei and he snapped his mouth closed, not wanting to ruin his surprise for Lucy. 

He grinned up at Severus, “Would you like to go play in the snow?” 

~

Harry had laid himself down in the snow in surrender after being pelted by a snowball for the thirtieth time. 

He had tried to replicate what he had seen Dudley doing in the snow before, but didn’t quite know what he had made. 

Severus plopped himself down a few feet away from him and started doing the same movements Harry had been doing. He stood up when he was done, carefully stepping out of the indent he had made. 

He looked it over critically before grinning, “That’s a very nice snow angel if I do say so myself.”

“Snow angel?”

Severus looked over at him, hands on his hips, “Well yeah, isn’t that what we were doing?”

Harry scrunched his nose in confusion. A look of sudden understanding passed over Severus’ face and he walked over to Harry, hands outstretched. 

“Come on then, step up carefully and we can look at them together.”

Harry took his hands, and copied what he had seen Severus do a few moments before. 

He stood beside Sev and looked down, trying to see how it was supposed to look like an angel. 

“My mum and I made them a few years ago. Da was out with his friends at the bar and she took me out to the back. There was a really nice patch of snow there, nothing like the dirty slush out front. She taught me how to make them and then afterwards we had tea.” 

Severus stared down at the imprints, and Harry could tell he wasn’t fully present, eyes glazed over as he relived a memory. 

He didn’t feel bitter about it, that Severus had such a nice memory with his mum and Harry didn’t have a single one. He just sort of wished he had something to call his own. Something nice to look back on in moments like these. 

“Will you spend the holidays with me and my mum Harry?” Severus asked suddenly, jerking Harry out of his thoughts. He looked up at the other boy, lips parted in surprise. 

Before he could answer Severus spoke again quickly, “Y-you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. There isn’t a ton of room at my house, and we’d have to share a bed, and it’ll be cold since the heaters been broken for years and the-,”

“Yes,” Harry interrupted. Severus stopped rambling and took in a sharp breath.

Harry watched him bite his bottom lip and tap his fingers along his thigh nervously. 

“You’re sure?” 

Harry nodded and looked down at the snow to hide his grin as Severus gave him a shy smile, tucking his gloved hands into his robe pockets. 

“Can we go inside now though, I think my fingers are getting frostbite,” he said, and Severus laughed before wrapping an arm around Harry’s shoulders, leading him back to the castle.

~

Harry met Clover’s deep black eyes as he stroked a single finger down the curve of their nose. They looked just like Severus’ eyes oddly enough. Maybe a little lighter. 

“Clover, I’m very nervous,” he whispered, barely able to hear himself. Clover’s ears twitched, so they had apparently heard him just fine. 

“What if Lucy and Severus won’t be able to get closer because I’m in the way? And what if Miss Snape doesn’t actually want me at her house, and was expecting only Severus to come? What if I see the Dursleys?”

He stopped, waiting.

He sighed as Clover just twitched their nose, crawling forward and tucking themselves into the curve where his neck met his shoulder. 

He turned his head towards his ceiling, his space lit up softly by the dim nox he had cast. 

Harry wondered if he could order Glow in the Dark Stars off a catalog and get them by owl. 

He sighed again and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the loud snoring coming from the other boys in the room. 

He pushed down the anxiety building up inside of him. 

But he couldn’t quite get rid of the thought of Miss Snape's disappointed face staring down at him as he showed up by Severus’ side. 

His eyelids drooped, barely able to stay awake. 

He slept. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, how are you? I'm doing pretty okay:)
> 
> Next chapter will be pretty interesting I think; I hope you enjoyed Harry's obliviousness + Alexei's weariness <3
> 
> Bye for now, have a good day<3


	9. Spinner's End: The introduction

* * *

Harry stepped off the train, hugging his bag close to himself. His eyes darted around the crowd, looking for Miss Snape. 

There were children everywhere, and Harry wished he was allowed to cast spells outside of school, so that he could dim the noise. 

Severus stepped down beside him, taking his hand in his own and began to lead him through the crowd. 

“I think I saw my mum near the back,” he said over his shoulder and Harry nodded, pulse quickening. 

He was still very nervous about what Miss Snape would think when he showed up before her, almost terrified that she’d send him to the Dursleys for the break. 

“Severus,” Harry called in a shaky voice, trying to be heard over the noise. 

Severus pulled him to the left, dodging a small boy lugging a cage in his arms, a tiny owl perched inside. 

“Yes?”

“You’re sure she won’t mind me staying with you two?” 

Severus nodded emphatically, “Of course, she thinks you’re great. Plus haven’t you two been writing back and forth?”

“Y-yeah, but I don’t think me talking about school and her telling me I’m doing a good job equals, “Can I show up uninvited to your home and stay for an extended period of time?”” 

Severus gave him an unimpressed look and pulled him along faster, Harry almost stumbling over his own feet. 

“I promise she’ll be fine with it Harry, now let's go a bit faster, all these people are making me feel…”, he trailed off, but Harry could imagine that he had his most rankled expression on, one reserved for crowds and people who annoyed him.

Harry would’ve helped look for Miss Snape, but he was a bit busy keeping up with Severus and his long legs and making sure his bag didn’t topple to the ground. 

Not because he was too short to see over the people. Not at all. 

“There!” Severus made a beeline to Miss Snape, who was waiting in the very back, towering over practically everyone. 

She was scanning the crowd and looked startled when Harry and Severus showed up right in front of her, tilting their heads back to meet her eyes.

“Hullo mum,” Severus said, letting go of Harry’s hand and stepping forward to wrap his arms around Miss Snape. She gave him a small smile and hugged him back, stroking a hand down the back of his head. 

She glanced up and met Harry’s eyes, “Harry are you meeting family here?” 

Harry gulped and stared down at his dragonhide boots. 

“Mum, I was hoping that Harry could stay with us for winter hols. I’m sorry I didn’t ask earlier, it slipped my mind,” Severus looked up at his mum, stepping away and curling an arm around Harry’s shoulders.

Her eyes widened in surprise and her gaze turned calculating. Harry felt a bit like a bug under a microscope and he fidgeted uncomfortably. He counted the red bricks at their feet. 

_8, 9, 10, 11..._

She finally spoke a few moments later, “I’d be glad to have you stay with us Harry. It’d be a pleasure, although I’m afraid there isn’t much room so you’ll ha-,” 

“It’s okay mum, I already told him he can stay with me in my room,” Severus interrupted. 

Miss Snape blinked, then nodded slowly. She held out her hands and he and Severus grasped them automatically, falling into an old habit easily. 

~

**Severus:**

He swallowed hard, glancing over at Harry’s face and trying to gauge his reaction. 

They’d had to walk from the hidden apparition point up to Severus’ house, giving Harry plenty of time to see his home. 

Severus would be the first to admit that he didn’t live in the greatest neighborhood, but his house looked a bit better than the others on their block. A little less rundown. 

It had been painted white a long time ago, but in the many years after that, the weather had caused it to peel and chip in places, the white now looked washed out, compared to, Severus assumed, it’s once pristine color. 

They hadn’t received snow here, so the dead front lawn looked even worse than usual against the stormy grey backdrop of the sky. 

Severus bit at his lip, staring down at his black boots as they walked up the worn down sidewalk, towards the cracked concrete steps that led to his front door. 

He heard his mum pull out her giant ring of keys and Severus felt a blush start to form on his cheeks when he heard Harry make one of his usual noises he made when something surprised or intrigued him. Severus didn’t think Harry realized he did it. 

“My mum cleans the primary school down the street,” he whispered to Harry, keeping his eyes firmly set on the ground. 

“Neat,” Harry whispered back and his mum unlocked the creaky door, pushing it open. 

Severus watched intently as Harry stepped inside, nudging his boots off his feet in the entry hall and placing them on the shoe rack there. 

Harry wandered further in, his bag hugged to his chest. 

Severus felt his heartbeat quicken. He’d been agonizing for weeks whether he should invite Harry to his house or not. He knew the other boy wouldn’t have minded staying at the castle, but he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him there to spend the holidays alone. Well Harry’d have Lucy of course and he’d have his mum, but it simply wouldn't be the same.

He hadn’t wanted Harry to see his home, not ever. It was a sore point in his life, and he was ashamed to admit that he was embarrassed. 

He’d decided against it the week before hols, but then he’d played with Harry in the snow. He'd seen the other boy's cheeks flushed from the cold, eyes bright with laughter and heard his delighted giggle when Severus had shown him the tiny snowman he'd built. He'd made up his mind right there and then. 

Harry’s head turned this way and that, taking in everything with those big eyes of his. Severus tried not to grimace as Harry looked over at the armchair with cracked leather and the green couch that looked to be on it’s last leg- literally, the other three legs were substituted by old telephone books.

The fireplace was empty and the house had a perpetual chill to it that didn’t leave even in summer, oddly enough. 

Harry stepped up to the beige wall that was covered in frames of Severus through various stages of his life. 

Harry stood in front of his birthday party picture. He’d just turned one and his hair was a fluffy mess around his head, chocolate frosting smeared across his mouth. 

“That one's of Severus at his first birthday. He wore the cake more than he ate it that day,” his mum said from beside him; he’d forgotten she was there. 

Harry glanced back and grinned, “I’ve never seen Severus with even a stray crumb on his face. He’s very prim and proper during meal times at Hogwarts.” 

Severus scoffed, “That’s because I’m much older now, and know how to use a napkin.”

“Thank Merlin for that,” his mum murmured under her breath and Severus blushed. 

“Would you like some tea Harry? Biscuits?” she asked, heading around the corner into the kitchen, her socked feet padding against the hardwood floor.

“Yes Miss, thank you.”

“Severus take Harry up to your room and put away your bags while you wait,” she called. 

Everything leading up to this point had practically been a cake walk. Now… now he’d have to show Harry his room. 

Harry looked over at him expectantly, hitching his bag up in his arms.

Severus inhaled deeply and held his breath for a moment, walking over to the door that revealed the stairs. It was beside the massive bookcase they kept on one wall, almost all the books on it belonging to his mum. There were so many that they were kept in stacks around it as well, and Severus hoped that she hadn’t migrated a few to the kitchen as she was prone to do. 

He twisted the knob, kicking at the bottom of the door when it wouldn’t open. 

He stepped up the creaking wooden stairs slowly, feeling his heartbeat in his throat. It was much darker up here, the landing having no windows, just doors. The one at the very end was to his room. 

He walked down the carpeted hallway, his steps muffled, and he could hear Harry shuffling right behind him. 

Severus let a hand rest on the doorknob, finally looking back and meeting Harry’s gaze fully since they’d first reached Spinner’s End. 

“Um. Harry. My… my room is small. Very,” he said. 

Harry glanced up at him, his brows raised. 

“Alright.”

Severus bit at the inside of his cheek, not moving. 

“Very,” he emphasized. 

Harry pouted out his bottom lip in thought. He seemed to come to a decision and he looked up at Severus. 

“Sev, I wasn’t planning on telling you this anytime soon as I’m embarrassed by it, but,” he paused for a moment, his eyes darting to the ground, “I live in a cupboard at the Dursley house. So unless your room is the literal size of a drawer, I can assure you that it will be luxurious compared to my room. Okay?” 

Severus felt his eyes widen, taken aback by what Harry had revealed. A cupboard? 

That day they went to Gringotts, Harry's vault had had so many piles… wasn't he rich? Didn't he have a massive room at the Dursleys house? Didn't he-

Oh. 

He'd forgotten what made him and Harry so alike, why they'd grown so close in the first place.

A spark of anger ran through him and his brows furrowed. At himself and those damn Dursleys.

But then he looked back down at Harry’s face and his heart ached at the blush across his cheeks, the tips of his ears flaming red. 

“Okay Harry. But we’ll talk more about that later,” Severus said, before finally turning the knob. 

His room consisted of a small wooden dresser and his bed. A few drawings of his were tacked up on one wall and Severus felt a wave of embarrassment rush through him, desperately wishing that he'd had the foresight to beg his mum to take them down before their arrival. 

Harry stepped in and immediately gravitated to the drawings. 

“Oh no,” Severus mumbled to himself, staring at the back of Harry's head in horror. 

“Aw Severus, is this a drawing of us?” Harry looked back at him, smile huge on his face as he tapped a drawing. 

Honestly, if he died at this moment it would be fine, welcomed even. 

“No… no of course not. Why would it be?”

Harry furrowed his brows, his bottom lip pouting out, “Are you sure? I mean this person you drew has green eyes and _I_ have green eyes. The hair also looks like mine, you’ve done a wonde-,” 

“It’s not!” he interrupted, “It’s. It’s of a character from a book I like,” he said, pleased with his quick thinking. 

“Oh really? What book?”

“Robin Hood.”

“I don’t recall Robin Hood having curly black hair, nor him having a sidekick, or,” he leaned closer to the drawing, squinting, “them having wands.”

Severus stared blankly. He coughed and got busy with placing his bag on his bed, taking out a new set of clothes. 

“Well if you don’t mind me, I’m going to go change out of these stuffy robes,” and with that he made a quick escape. 

He locked the bathroom door with a quiet click, leaning back heavily against it, a deep sigh slipping past his lips. 

~

**Harry:**

“Which side do you want?”

By the time they’d finished having tea and biscuits with Miss Snape, and finished a few rounds of card games, the sun had set, the sky outside covered in rolling dark clouds heavy with rain.

The two of them had decided to head to bed a bit early, tired from traveling most of the afternoon. Harry was excited to lounge around the next day and Miss Snape had promised to let him help her bake Christmas cookies.

“Well. I usually sleep in the middle but I suppose I could sleep on the outside?”

Harry nodded and climbed onto the side closest to the wall, slipping beneath the thin blanket. 

Severus turned off the lightswitch beside the door and laid himself down beside him. 

He felt Severus shiver beside him a few moments later. 

Harry leaned over the other boy and groped at the side of the bed, trying to find his bag. When he did he reached inside, pulling out his thick traveling cloak and laying it over them both, tucking it at Severus’ side. 

“Better?”

Severus hummed in thanks, turning on his side and slipping a hand beneath his head. 

“Severus?” Harry said softly. 

The other boy glanced over at him expectantly. Harry could just barely see him, the light creeping in through the part in the curtains illuminating a sliver of his pale face. 

“I’m… happy for you.”

“For what?” Severus whispered. 

“For you and Lucy.”

“What about me and Lucy?”

Harry coughed quietly, feeling a bit flushed. He twined his fingers on his chest, wiggling one foot at the end of the bed. 

“Well you know… you and her,” he said, hardly above a breath. 

He felt Severus shift beside him and then the other was crowded against him, laying his head on his chest. 

Harry let himself feel proud for a moment. A few months ago Severus would have _never_ made the first move when wanting to be close. But in the past month it seemed that after almost half a year of Harry always up for a cuddle and providing tactile comfort had paid off.

“Don’t you like her?” 

“Of course I like her, why wouldn’t I?”

An odd feeling overwhelmed him then, washing over him like a wave. 

He dwelled for a moment at the stinging sensation in his heart before dismissing the thought and running his fingers through Severus’ hair. 

He cut off a sigh, turning it into a yawn quickly. 

“That’s good Severus, I’m glad you like her.”

Severus huffed, “You’re so odd sometimes. Don’t you like Lucy too?”

“Yes, but not in the way you do.”

Severus’ arm around his waist curled tighter, “What do you mean?”

Harry turned his head, the tip of his nose brushing against the other’s forehead. 

“Well, you know,” he said. 

“No, I don’t think I do.”

Harry sighed loudly, sliding his bottom lip between his teeth. Merlin must he spell everything out?

“That you like her. More than a friend. Enough that you want to kiss and stuff.”

Severus made an odd noise beside him then and he coiled around Harry so tightly in the next moment that he felt like he was being squeezed by a boa constrictor. 

“Harry, what made you think that?!” he said, his tone a tad frantic.

Harry pushed at the other until his arms loosened and he could take in a deep breath. 

“Sev,” he gasped out, “there’s no need to lie! I know all about your plan,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest, trying to even out his breathing again. Severus was rough at times without even realizing it. 

“What plan?” he asked as he ran a hand over Harry's side in a silent apology.

Harry pulled himself fully from the other and stumbled out of the bed, turning on the light again. 

Severus blinked harshly at the sudden light, and he looked adorably ruffled laying down on the bed. His hair was all out of sorts and his cheeks were flushed pink from being sleepy. 

Harry pulled his sleeping pants up from where they were sagging too low for his liking (damn Dudley and his enormous appetite), and set his hands on his hips. He narrowed his eyes at Severus who was running a hand through his hair, rubbing at one eye with a small fist. 

“What d’you mean _what_ _plan_? Sev, there’s no need to lie, I know about your Christmas gift for Lucy and how you… you like her,” he whispered at the end, looking down at his socked feet, wringing the bottom of his favorite oversized jumper. He hadn't meant to sound accusing.

Severus stared up at him from where he’d sat up on the bed, his lips parted and eyes squinting. 

“Where’d you come up with that idea?” 

“I didn’t come up with anything Sev. I know you went to the owlery to intercept a gift and I know you fancy Lucy. Why didn't you tell me you liked her that way?” his voice small.

Severus stood, not having to cross his room because he was already right in front of Harry. 

“Harry,” he said quietly, “if you must know, that gift wasn’t for Lucy. It was… it’s for someone else.”

Harry blinked up at the other, not sure he was hearing him correctly. If it wasn’t for Lucy then who was it for?

“Who’s it for then?”

Severus bit at his inner cheek and his eyes darted away from Harry, looking over at the drawings on his wall. 

“It’s for you,” he said, in a quiet hush. It was silent then, the sound of pouring rain outside becoming very apparent. 

“For me?”

Severus nodded, still not meeting Harry’s gaze. 

“Oh,” he reached back and switched off the lightswitch behind him, bathing the room in darkness. 

Harry stepped closer to Severus, intertwining their fingers and holding their joined hands up to his chest. 

“‘m sorry Sev. I shouldn’t have assumed. So you don’t fancy Lucy?”

Severus exhaled slowly, squeezing Harry’s hand, “No Harry. I don’t.”

Harry laughed softly and tipped his body forward, leaning himself on the other, their hands still joined between them. 

They stood silently for awhile, listening to the rain outside. Harry felt warmer standing close to Severus like this. He always felt better when he was with the other. 

He felt silly as well. He really needed to work on how often he jumped to conclusions… maybe Alexei had a point. 

“D’you think she’s doing alright with Clover?” he wondered out loud. 

Severus hummed and Harry felt the sound where his head rested on the other's shoulder. 

“Probably. We’ll find out soon enough. She said she’ll send an owl Christmas morning.”

He stepped back from Harry, his hand falling back to his side, and got into bed again, leaving space by the wall. 

When Harry crawled in he shivered, all the warmth gone and the sheets cold again. He pulled the blanket and then the cloak over the both of them. Severus tugged him close, intertwining their limbs and Harry tipped his head forward, his forehead resting on Sev’s collarbone. 

“Goodnight Harry.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't often write in other p.o.v.'s, I hope you liked this one :]
> 
> Lemme know what you thought?
> 
> P.s. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Miss Snape.


End file.
